


Hajime's Bizarre Adventure: I Am An Alien

by Electric_Angel



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Gen, Part 4 is amazing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2020-10-19 01:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20649047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electric_Angel/pseuds/Electric_Angel
Summary: “My name is Kokichi Oma… Or, well, that’s my name rendered in your language, at least! Here’s hoping we remain on good terms!”Sometimes, when you just want to hang out on a beautiful island, you end up meeting someone from outer space.Hajime and Akane weren't expecting to meet an alien (or maybe he isn't an alien, since he has a nasty habit of not telling the truth). However, with the help of their new friend, maybe they can have a bit of fun with their favourite yakuza boss and his bodyguard...





	1. It Came from Outer Space / Let's Groove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime and Akane chill out after a hard day, and end up walking to the beach and finding an unconscious boy. Things turn out to be rather strange... and his name, so he claims, is Kokichi Oma.

The Jabberwock Island archipelago is massive in size.

Located in the Pacific Ocean, six islands make up Jabberwock Island as a whole. Five smaller islands surround the largest island, eloquently named “The Central Island”. Each island, in relation to the Center Island, has a radius of exactly five kilometers; as such, the time for a ferry trip between the Center Island and an outer island is over twenty-five minutes. Each island is unique in which each one follows a specific theme; for instance, the “First Island” is designed to act as the main part of the archipelago where tourists can stay and rest. It’s unknown exactly when the islands were found, and even more so how the island became as famous as it was today; however, one can be sure of the fact that Jabberwock Island is quite a nice destination to go to for the holidays.

This, of course, is the reason why Hajime Hinata is there on holiday with the rest of Class 77-B by his side. Dragged alongside his friends to Jabberwock Island after a lengthy process of decision-making and multiple fundraisers, the young man found himself rather enjoying his stay. Perhaps it was the thought of being with his friends on an island, or maybe it was getting away from all the stress in his life… He wasn’t sure what exactly made being here so enticing, but he sure wouldn’t give this up for the world.

Today, Hajime figured that the best place for him to hang out with his friends was in the First Island; specifically, Rocketpunch Market. Business was quite low today. Due to the relatively low prices of the items in the market—one Monocoin for a family-sized bag of chips was a steal!—Hajime was able to stock up on snacks for the group of friends he hung out with. Well into the afternoon, he figured that the best place to wait for them would be in the place they frequented the most… In other words, he loitered around the front of the market, sitting on the curb as he ate a few potato chips.

“...Urgh. That’s the last time I’m trying Salt and Vinegar...”

He tossed the now-finished bag of chips to the trash can next to him. The bag floated in the air for a moment, before Hajime began to concentrate. Despite Hajime staying completely in place, an audible ** _SMACK _ **was heard as the wrapper was practically slam-dunked into the trash. He smiled, satisfied now that he could focus on eating his other snacks.

Something that should be mentioned is that Hajime Hinata was a wielder of something he and a friend of his colloquially referred to as a “Stand”. Though he can’t remember exactly when or how he acquired it, something that he _ is _ sure of is that it’s most certainly real. From what he could tell, its ability was relatively simple; using his Stand, **「Lean on Me」**, he was able to construct in-depth plans within just a fraction of a second mentally, before executing them through 「Lean on Me」’s ability. In simple terms, it was a humanoid Stand that was physically gifted at the cost of having a range of three meters. Its greatest strength was its amazing speed, which was enough to swap objects without people even noticing. Though having as much strength as Hajime himself had (and he himself was quite strong), 「Lean on Me」’s superior speed made it a perfect stand for him to wield. It was a strong green colour, with an ahoge similar to Hajime’s; with the word “TALENT” engraved on its shoulders, it was quite amazing to witness in person.

At this moment, however, Hajime couldn’t do anything but wait. 「Lean on Me」 was the best option to dispose of trash, but you could only do so much with entertaining yourself through your Stand before getting bored. Honestly, he was bored. Bored, bored, bored… He laid down, sighing as he looked up to the clouds. Hajime couldn’t even relax properly since he kept glancing down the road for his friends to show up. It was boring. Hajime wished that something interesting would happen…

“Heya, Hajime! You look lonely. I didn’t keep ya waitin’ for too long, did I?”

Ah! There it was! Someone finally came at last! Hajime bolted upright, looking towards the voice with a large grin. 

“Not at all! Compared to everyone else, I’d say you came earlier than expected.”

“Heheh! Obviously! I sure hope you’re not hoardin’ those snacks for yourself… I could go for brunch right about now!”  
  
Laughing, Hajime handed his friend a packet of small donuts. “Help yourself, Akane. I’m satisfied just from the chips.”

Akane grinned, snatching the donuts and digging into them immediately. “Don’t mind me! I’m practically starvin’!”

Mentioned before was that Hajime had a friend that also referred to his ability as a “Stand”. Akane, of course, _ is _ that friend. In fact, she was the one that suggested that name in the first place, for the sample basis that “It _ stands _by you.” in her words. It should also be mentioned that only people with Stands could see other Stands; Hajime and her hadn’t had the chance to see if any other people on the islands had them, but they weren’t about to kick up a fuss and find out by accident.

Her stand, **「Scarface」**, was a Stand that essentially boosted her already astounding physical prowess. While Hajime’s Stand was based on speed, 「Scarface」 was a Stand that allowed Akane’s pain tolerance to spike whenever her adrenaline reached a certain level in her body. Once that state was achieved, Akane was able to use her talent—Ultimate Gymnast—to go full-out in a fight. Of course, she barely used it since she liked the challenge, but since it was a stand similar to Hajime’s, it was also physical and humanoid in shape. Primarily coloured red with silver lines streaking its rather muscular arms and legs, a heart-shaped hole was in its stomach, and its eyes were pure black. All in all, the two of them bonded quite quickly over having such a bizarre affliction.

Akane, absolutely famished, sat right next to Hajime as she polished off the fourth donut and began to work on the fifth—now the sixth, since she had eaten one in-between the blink of an eye. Also similarly bored, she couldn’t help but glance at Hajime.

“...So, uh, what’re you doin’ here by yourself, anyway?”  
  
Hajime looked over to her.  
  
“Waiting for the rest of the group to come. Why do you ask?”  
  
“Oh, that’s easy.” She swallowed the last donut, before reaching for a bag of chips and scarfing them down. “They’re kinda busy with other stuff right now. I was feelin’ a bit tired after fightin’ Nekomaru, so I thought I’d come by here for a quick pick-me-up, y’know?”  
  
Oh. So he had been waiting for nothing, then. Hajime sighed. “That’s too bad… I wonder if there’s anything we can do, then. I had nothing to do all afternoon.”

“Hrmph! It’s not like I’m gonna ditch ya or anything! I might be tired, but that’s ‘cause I don’t have anythin’ to do, either!” She threw her chip bag to the side. Much like Hajime had beforehand, 「Scarface」 smashed it into the trash bin.

Hajime quirked an eyebrow. “Huh? I figured you’d have something more important to do. Usually, you jump at the opportunity to fight Nekomaru…”

“It’s not like I don’t _ want _ to. Jeez…” Lightly punching his shoulder (though with her strength, it was less punching and more so slugging), Akane snorted. “What, you think I’m gettin’ soft or something? C’mon, of course I’d love to fight him. It’s just that, uh… y’know…” Akane sighed, grabbing yet another bag of chips. “I don’t wanna do it _ right _ after sparrin’ him. I gotta regain my energy. Besides, I’ve been fightin’ him since breakfast! The only time I’ve had a break is when I went to go eat. I don’t wanna admit it, but…”

Hajime finished her train of thought, taking a quick swig from the cola he just opened.  
  
“...You’re bored, too?”  
  
Akane slumped, groaning at Hajime’s words. “How didja know?”

“I’ve known you for a long time, Akane.” Hajime shrugged. “It’s kinda obvious what emotion you happen to be feeling just by looking at your face.” 

“Man, I’m not _ that _ easy to read, am I…?” 

“Well, you’re not exactly subtle.” Hajime sighed. “If it helps, then I’m bored, too. Honestly, it’s really nice being here on Jabberwock Island, but nothing interesting really happens here.”

Akane snorted again. “You sure about that? Given the fact you’re best friends with me, that white-haired guy, and the class rep, I’d figure a lot of interesting things would happen to you.”

“If only…”  
  
Hajime laid back down onto the ground, the pavement providing a relatively comfortable place for him to stay. “...You know that I’m nothing like you guys. You and I are the only ones that have a Stand, from what we’ve seen so far, but you’ve got a talent and everything.” Exhaling deeply, he looked to Akane with a funny look on his face. “I don’t even remember what talent I have, and I’m meant to be a part of the class...”

“Eh… I don’t see you as an outcast if that’s what’cha think.” Shrugging, Akane grabbed a bottle of off-brand soda, before beginning to gulp some down. “You’re my friend, after all. Hell, you’re good friends with all of us, so don’t go on about that ‘talentless’ crap, ‘kay?” The gymnast laughs, before placing her hand on Hajime’s kneecap. “Besides, if nothing else, you might be the Ultimate Stand User. That’s sure as hell talented to me!”

Chuckling, Hajime shook his head. “I doubt it, but… I’m at least glad I’m friends with you.”

“No kidding! If I were you, I’d wanna be friends with me, too!”

Time passed the more and more the two of them talked. A quality that Hajime noticed about Akane’s personality was the fact that she was quite easy to talk to; as a result, in due time, afternoon had passed, and the sun was hanging lower in the sky than it had been earlier. Hajime hadn’t even noticed how cold things had gotten at this point—he didn’t even _ know _ islands could get this cold at night—but the ocean breeze was enough to keep him awake as he kept on chatting with her. 

Akane laughed, slinging an arm around Hajime’s shoulder. “...Yeah, ‘course we gotta hang out on the beach sometime! That’s, like, the whole _ point _ of bein’ on an island! What’s a vacation without hangin’ out at the beach?”

Smiling, Hajime returned the gesture in kind, slinging an arm around her shoulder as well. “I imagine it wouldn’t be fun at all.”  
  
“Duh! It’d be like eatin’ a hotdog without any condiments! It’s one of the most important parts of island life!” Akane reached over to grab a snack without looking, but ended up grasping nothing but thin air. Once this happened, she was snapped out of her good vibes, eyes widening as she looked around. The two of them had eaten all the snacks they had. Enough time had passed for them to realise that it was time for them to go home; unhooking their shoulders, the two of them stood up at once. Akane spoke first, stretching her arms out as she looked to Hajime. 

“Well, guess that’s us for the day, huh? What’s your plan now, Hajime?”

Hajime looked towards the airport. While it’s true that going the other way would be much quicker to go to the hotels they were all staying at, he had a strange urge to take the long way home. Something just compelled him to go down that way.  
  
“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Taking a deep breath, Hajime then shifted his focus of attention to her. “Wanna come with me? I could use the company.”  
  
“Hell yeah, I’d like to come with you! I’m not comin’ back to the cabins without workin’ all these snacks off!” 

With that in mind, the two of them began to head to the right, walking towards the airport. By this point in time, the sky was already woven with oranges and purples, and the ocean breeze was enough to make Hajime’s skin prickle as he kept walking down the dirt pathway. As the airport hustled and bustled with activity, he couldn’t help but admire the beauty of Jabberwock Island. It was near-perfect; the flora and fauna here were breathtaking enough for a certain photographer to take enough photos to fill multiple scrapbooks. Hajime knew well enough that the island was beautiful enough on its own, but despite the scenery and the excitement, it was just lacking soul…  
  
Silence hung over the two of them as they walked past the airport. Hajime would have loved to speak, but not even being with a friend of his was enough to make him want to chat. There was a feeling in his chest that he couldn’t quite quell no matter how hard he tried. The feeling that something was missing… The feeling that his vacation would only stagnate if something didn’t happen soon. It was a feeling he couldn’t shake off. Groaning, he rubbed his head. Something just felt like it was missing…

All of a sudden, Akane stuck her arm out, stopping Hajime in his tracks as she looked around. Snapping him out of his stupor, the man hadn’t even realised that he was currently standing near the beach area. He raised his voice. “Akane? What are you doing—?”

“Shhh…” Akane sniffed the air.  
  
“H-Huh?”  
  
“...My gut’s tellin’ me that somethin’ fishy’s gonna happen.” Her eyes drifted over to the sea, barely illuminated by the lowering sun. “Somethin’... Somethin’ that doesn’t usually happen…” 

The two of them looked around. If there was one thing that Hajime knew, it was that Akane’s gut feelings tended to not be too entirely unfounded. Cautiously, he went to the side of her, looking out towards the beach as he tried to look for whatever it was that set off her incredible sense of intuition.

“I’m serious, y’know!” Akane began to move down towards the beach, Hajime following in kind as they both began to investigate. “Honestly, I dunno why, but… I get the feelin’ that we’ve just come across somethin’ super weird. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

The waves crashed into the shore, providing Hajime with background noise that calmed him down with each second that passed. Though the sun was quite low at this point, enough light was there for him to look around the beach with minimal trouble. The closer they got to the seashore, however, the more they finally realised exactly what it was that had made Akane so wary.

Sitting in front of a palm tree, a young man with purple hair sat with his eyes shut.

Immediately, the two yelped, Hajime taking three steps back as he tried to comprehend what was in front of him. It didn’t look like the unconscious man was injured or anything. In fact, all things considered, he looked as if he was peacefully sleeping. Hajime, however, was still cautious that he was there for a reason that he wasn’t all too sure of. The man’s chest rose and fell with each breath, implying that he was still alive, but Hajime still stayed close to Akane nonetheless. Akane herself was quite mystified, eyes looking up and down his body as she took in the sight before her.

The gymnast blinked once, looking at the body before looking back at Hajime. Her reaction was eloquently worded. “Well… What the hell do we do now?” 

Hajime’s response, too, was also eloquently worded. “I… have no idea…”

“Well, we gotta do _ somethin’. _ The guy looks like he’s knocked out cold…” Slowly inching forward, Akane began to whisper, unwilling to wake up the man just in case he was going to pose a threat to the two of them. “Not to make ya panic or anythin’, but if _ we _ don’t, then who will?”  
  
Hajime held back Akane, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Going about it like that is just asking for trouble. If you go by yourself, he might just get the jump on you.”

“Hajime, come _ on._ You’re actin’ like he’s a threat. He’s knocked out! Worst that happens is that he ends up dead and we’re framed for his murder!”

He laughed dryly, shooting a glare at her. “Yeah, _ funny. _ I’m just suggesting that the two of us do it together.”

“And why’s that?” The gymnast glanced over to him, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Do you think I’m not capable of doin’ it by myself or somethin’? Them’s fightin’ words, you know…”

“Obviously not! I’m just saying you could do with a bit of help!”

“Yeah, 'cause the Ultimate Gymnast needs help in walkin’ up to an unconscious guy.”

Hajime pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling in frustration. “Akane, please… I just don’t want you to be hurt. If both of us sneak up on him, then that means we can take him on together if necessary.”

Akane blinked, before laughing. “Aww, you really _ do _ care for me after all!”  
  
“Well, of course I would!” Hajime sputtered, looking to the side. “Look, just—focus on this, okay?”

“No need to tell me twice!”

With that, the two of them crept upon the unconscious man. Hajime had to admit that he was incredibly apprehensive about even attempting this. At times, he wondered what exactly compelled Akane to be so gutsy… It kind of made him envious of her confidence. Nevertheless, the two of them stayed on their guard. One wrong move, and the two of them could be jumped on without prior notice.

Step by step, they inched closer. Hajime brought out his Stand, it hovering menacingly behind him; Akane did the same, a darkened expression on her face the closer they got to the man. Maybe it was a bit rash of them to do this, but it was getting quite late, and they didn’t want to heighten the risk of being ambushed. Moving in front of Akane, he got a mere few inches away from the person’s body, before pausing as he focused on them. He just felt as if he was going to regret doing this.

Sucking in a deep breath, he reached out to their shoulder, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead, before…  


** _“It’s a lie!”_ ** ****  


...Hajime yelped, dashing backwards into Akane’s body as the two of them fell flat on their ass.  
  
“H-Hey, what the hell was that for, Hajime?! I thought you were man enough to not get scared by someone—what the HELL IS THAT?!”

Both Akane and Hajime stayed close to each other as the once-unconscious man woke up all of a sudden, his eyes focusing on the two of them. He slowly got to his feet, but in one of the strangest ways Hajime had ever seen; with his heels firmly planted in the ground, he rose almost like a zombie, with his hands stuck out in front of him and without even bending his knees. Once he stood up straight, his head tilted and he put a finger to his cheek. Everything about him seemed mystical in a way that the duo could barely put into words.

“...So this is Earth, right? Nice place you’ve got here.” He laughed, putting his hands behind his head. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about this planet, but actually seeing it up close? Man, you guys are a riot!”  
  
Stunned into silence, Hajime and Akane said nothing as he kept speaking.

“According to my handy-dandy notebook, I should beeeeeeeee… in the Pacific Islands! Wow, it’s a lot colder than I was expecting… Well, I can work around that! Just a bit of renovation and I’ll have myself a decent home in no time!”

Akane shakily put a hand up, pointing to him. “Who… W-Who are you?”

“Huh? Who am _ I?” _ The man looked down onto them. “Who are _ you? _Jeez, talk about rude. I’m sure leaving a bad review on the official Space Travels page…”

Akane grunted, getting up from under Hajime. She stood right in front of him, a funny look on her face as she looked him up and down. “You… Are you even from here? Why’re you talking about us like we’re just locals or somethin’?!”

“Because you are. **Duh.”** He flicked his hair back, looking at her with a dumb grin on his face. “I came here to find a new home, of course. If you guys are going to be my neighbours… Maybe my stay on Earth won’t be bad after all!”  
  
At last, Hajime got up to his feet, not keen on listening to him be cryptic any longer. “That’s… That’s enough. Can you at least tell us your name…?” 

“Introductions, huh? I personally hate repeating myself, but since you two sound like the _ best _ tour guides a guy like me could ask for, I’ll say my name just this once for you.” 

With that done at last, he placed his hands on his hips. That look in his eyes assured Hajime of one thing: he had met someone that was most likely going to cause a lot of mischief around Jabberwock Island. 

“My name is Kokichi Oma… Or, well, that’s my name rendered in your language, at least! Here’s hoping we remain on good terms!”  
  
Hajime and Akane looked at each other.

It looked like they were going to have one crazy vacation together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I make something else while planning to focus on the other JoJo-related crossover I've neglected to update for about half a year at this point (and I swear I'll update it someday).
> 
> Hajime's Stand is based on the Bill Withers song of the same name. Considering it speaks about being someone to rely on, I figured it'd fit someone like Hajime.
> 
> "You just call on me brother, when you need a hand  
We all need somebody to lean on  
I just might have a problem that you'll understand  
We all need somebody to lean on"
> 
> Akane's Stand, on the other hand, is based on the Paul Engemann song. That one that goes "Push it to the limit". Akane is a very physical person; I imagine her Stand would be based on a song about not giving up and doing your hardest.
> 
> "Push it to the limit  
Walk along the razor's edge  
But don't look down, just keep your head  
Or you'll be finished"
> 
> To those expecting Stand shenanigans, there will be some in the next chapter at least. Kokichi's Stand, regrettably, will not be named after an Earth, Wind & Fire song like Mikitaka's.


	2. Kokichi Oma, Space Oddity / Little Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi's arrival causes a few problems for both Hajime and Akane, who end up having to explain themselves to a certain Chiaki Nanami. This goes about as well as you'd expect.

What exactly do you do when you find out an alien came to Earth?

Well, for starters, you probably wouldn’t react much. Shock would cause you to freeze up, unsure of what course of action to take. Then comes the matter of actually approaching the alien, which is an entirely different can of worms to open. Do you approach the alien to see if it’s alive? Do you back away to book it before it can vaporise you? Maybe you might not move at all to see if it’ll acknowledge your existence…?

Or, much like Hajime, maybe you’ll take a fourth option and talk to your friend to see what they think of the situation. Keeping his eyes on Kokichi, he turned his head, addressing Akane.

“Hey… Hey, Akane? What do you think about this guy?”

Akane, evidently, didn’t exactly have much to say about this.

“Uhhhh… I dunno. Looks to me he’s either crazy or on drugs.” She looked to Hajime. “You think that Mikan came by and knocked him out with an injection? Guy musta’ gone loopy after being hit in the head by a coconut or somethin’.”   
  
He shook his head incredulously. “Are you serious? W-What made you come to  _ that _ conclusion?!”   
  
“Hey, it ain’t impossible! We don’t even know what this guy’s about! It’s like… It’s like he’s an  _ alien _ or somethin’!”

“I’m  **RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!”**

Snapping the two of them out of their conversation, Kokichi stood there with his hand on his hip, the other on his chest in mock offence. Ah, yes… Kokichi Oma. The two of them were unsure as to what exactly Kokichi was or what he was doing here. Based off of his rather eccentric introduction, they both assumed that he was otherworldly. Both figuratively,  _ and _ literally! To treat them both as if they were mere tourist attractions made at  _ least _ Akane assume that he was some sort of alien.

Hajime, however, was having absolutely none of that shit.

“...Kokichi, was it?”   
  
The purple-haired boy nodded, twirling his hair in one hand. “Yeah, that’s my name. Don’t wear it out. Pretty cool, right? Literally just, like, thought it up in a few seconds.”

“Okay…” A bead of sweat dripped down Hajime’s face. Gundham might have found himself some competition in terms of weird mannerisms. “What… brought you here, exactly?”   
  
“Well, that’s easy! I needed a vacation!” Pulling out a pair of sunglasses from his scarf—you know what, Hajime’s not even going to  _ ask _ how it fit in there—Kokichi wore them and gave Hajime the finger guns as he laughed. “Real talk? I’m flat broke. Earth, here, is the only place that I can actually afford to go, so… just as well I managed to get here at last, then! Neeheeheeee~”   


Hajime paused, blinking once. “So… you’re an alien?”   
  
“Eh, pretty sure I am.” Kokichi shrugged, taking off his sunglasses and storing them into the vast expanse of his scarf. “Don’t ask me where my ship is, ‘cause you’re gonna be all like ‘Oooh I wanna have a ride’ and then I have to clean it up because I know at least  _ one _ person out of you two are smelly and dirty and don’t wash their hands and—”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Groaning, Hajime put a hand to his face. “So you’re here on a vacation, but… how long have you been here? I’m pretty sure that we’d have seen you at least once.”   
  
Kokichi hummed, putting a finger to his chin. “Honestly, I sat there as soon as I got here. So… mmm… about a week ago.”

In response, Hajime blinked twice. “A week…? But there’s sixteen of us—seventeen, if you count Monomi—so we really should have seen or heard of you—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever—no one cares what I did when I got here, okay?! Gawd, you people are  _ nosy!”  _ Kokichi huffed, crossing his arms. “I just hung out on the beach, and then you guys caught me when I was sleeping. You happy now, or do I have to read out my autobiography for you?”

Staying silent, Hajime began to think to himself. Akane walked up from behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder as she took the opportunity to talk to Kokichi.    
  
“So you’re an alien, huh? What do you think about, uh… Area 51?” She grinned as she spoke, hoping that she could at least get a laugh out of Kokichi as Hajime began to think to himself.

Much to her surprise, Kokichi’s expression didn’t budge even an inch. His lips pursed slightly, and his words were laced with faint annoyance as he spoke. “Yeah… My dad works there. Why do you ask? What, you think I’ve never heard about Area 51?”  
  
Sweating slightly, Akane laughed nervously, before waving him off. “Ahah… Ahahah. Just, uh, tryin’ to crack an Earth joke. Don’t mind me, Kent Kochi.” Ignoring Kokichi look of confusion at the butchering of his name, she whispered to Hajime, eyes darting between both himself and the alien. “So, uh… What’s the reading on him, Hajime? Do we just let him be, or…?”

Hajime shrugged. “I mean, he  _ is _ just a tourist, even if I’m not buying his alien excuse for even a second.”  
  
“I dunno, Hajime. Just look at him.” Akane pointed to the supposed extraterrestrial being, who was still thrown for a loop at his new nickname. “Even if he ain’t a threat, we don’t even know him, y’know?”

The boy sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. “Akane, exactly what  _ can _ we do about this? It’s not like we can tie him up and throw him in a lodge or anything.”  
  
“Hey…” Akane smiled, a lightbulb shining within her head as she lifted a finger. “Good idea! Hey, Kostroma! Stay still so we can—”

Hajime clamped a hand over Akane’s mouth, sweat dripping down his forehead as he put on a forced smile for Kokichi’s sake, who hadn’t even looked in Akane’s direction when she called out to him. “Give us a moment! We’re just, uh… sorting out where we’re gonna take you first, that’s all!” With that excuse being enough for now, Hajime quickly lead Akane behind a large rock before the both of them slumped onto it. Letting Kokichi out of their sight was unwise in retrospect, but such concerns were far from their minds as they took the time to think about what to do next. Of course, Akane was the first one to break the silence, looking to Hajime with a displeased look.   
  
“Was that  _ really _ necessary? Jeez, talk about handsy.”   


“Look, it was either that or you freak out Kokichi. Even if he  _ wasn’t _ an alien, are you really planning on sticking around to find out if he’s telling the truth or not?”

Akane stayed silent, while Hajime sighed.

“That’s what I thought… Ugh. What are we even doing wasting time here?” Hajime stood up, ruffling his hair. “It’s way too late out for us to even stay at the beach. It has to at  _ least _ be evening by now! We have to get back to the hotels, or else we’re going to have to explain  _ this _ whole mess to Chiaki—”

“...Hajime?” Akane raised her voice.

Hajime’s eyes snapped down to her, his tirade cut mid-sentence and causing him to sputter for a moment or two. “What? What is it?”   
  
“Look, uh… Look in front of you.”

Hajime took one look in front of him, and his ahoge suddenly straightened out in surprise at what he saw.

“...Akane? Hajime? What’re you both doing here?”

Speak of the gamer, and she shall appear. Chiaki Nanami—the Ultimate Gamer and the class representative for 77-B—was standing right in front of them. Little bleeps and bloops from the game Chiaki was playing rung from her console as she looked upon both Hajime and Akane, causing Hajime to sweat slightly. He had to deflect the situation somehow. Putting his hands behind his back, he smiled nervously; hopefully, Chiaki wouldn’t be able to tell that Hajime and Akane were currently screwing up human-alien relations.

“Oh! Uh, hey, Chiaki! What brings you out here all of a sudden?”   
  
“...It’s nine in the evening.” Chiaki paused her game, before looking up to Hajime lazily. “We’re preparing to go to bed, and Nagito noted that you both weren’t here.” Peering behind Hajime at Akane, she squinted. Something didn’t seem quite right. “You didn’t answer my question. What’re you guys doing at the beach?”

Akane blinked, before laughing, standing up, and dusting herself off. “Well, uh… Funny that you ask, heh...” With a hand behind her head, Akane smiled, before brushing off any suspicion Chiaki may have had. “We just figured we’d hang out, y’know? Guess we musta lost track of time!”

“...But it’s really dark out.” Chiaki wasn’t buying it. Hajime’s eyes drifted over to Akane, who sweated slightly. “You two were out for this long, and it isn’t like you both to do that. Especially you, Akane.”

“But, uh—hey, hey, didn’t you know?” Akane laughed again, putting her hands behind her head. “I was  sparring with Nekomaru this whole time, and Hajime opted to watch!”

...Now  _ that _ was strange. It wasn’t like Akane to make such a boldfaced lie. She was blunt and honest to a fault. In fact, Hajime let out a soft gasp as soon as he processed what Akane had said, who looked equally as surprised. What… What was that? Why did Akane say something like that?! They both knew better than to lie to Chiaki, and especially so if she caught them both in the act—

“But Nekomaru came in at dinnertime… a full hour ago. Why would you stay for an hour?”

Hajime swore internally. They’d have to tell the truth now. Hajime began to construct a believable tale in his head how a boy washed up on a beach and claimed to be an alien—

  
“Because I wanted to stay and train for a little while… Duh. Hajime wanted to be my punchin’ bag, too!”

“W-Wait, hold on!” Hajime looked up, a look of surprise on his face. “Why would—why are you lying to Chiaki like that?”   
  
“Can it, Hajime!” Akane snapped back, looking at him with a fiery look in her eyes. She looked rather perplexed herself, but any confusion washed away when she continued to speak.  “The truth is that you ‘n I sparred for a while until now, and that’s why we lost track of time! End of story!”

This was beginning to concern Hajime. Not only was Akane lying, she was doing it with complete confidence! Let it be known that Hajime had a penchant for being able to tell when people are either lying or contradicting known facts, so hearing her say this was confusing him outright. It was a futile attempt to lie to Chiaki, especially since years of honing her detective skills through mystery games and courtroom visual novels meant she could discern fabrications from reality easily! There was no choice  _ but _ for him to tell the truth! 

Chiaki sighed, looking away from the gymnast who was still intent on passing that off as the truth. Hajime sweat madly as Chiaki eyed him. Having to explain this mess would prove to be a lot difficult for him than he expected. Slowly, Chiaki spoke, putting a hand to her chin as she did so. “Hajime? Akane isn’t telling the truth, is she?”

Hajime took a moment to collect his thoughts, before shaking his head. “Isn’t it obvious? The truth is…”

“...Akane’s right. We were out here the whole time, and we’re sorry we didn’t tell you before. We won’t do it again, we promise.”

Hajime put both his hands to his mouth, eyes widening as he realised what exactly it was he just said. He… He lied in tandem with Akane! He didn’t mean to—he really did want to tell the truth! The words just came out before he could even think about them! Akane voiced her surprise, eyes equally as wide as Hajime’s.

“H… H-Hajime! What the hell—?!”

Chiaki raised her hand, silencing Akane as she scrutinised Hajime’s face as if trying to uncover the lies based off of nervous tics. Hajime tried to quell his shaking, unsure what prompted this bout of lying. However, a sudden wave of relaxation washed over him, sweat drying as he looked at Chiaki. He felt… confident. Almost as if this was natural for him. 

Chiaki continued, speaking sternly. “What move did Akane start off with when you both fought?”

Hajime smiled.  “I asked Akane to go easy on me when we sparred, so she restricted herself to mostly her upper body. In the end, she went hard enough for me to feel a little numb all over.”

Chiaki paused, studying his face. Due to his relaxation, he didn’t even feel like he was lying. At the moment, it felt like whatever lie he was spinning was the truth, even if Akane’s look of sheer awe implied he was fibbing like someone on the witness stand. The gamer came forward, reaching forward and going to lightly tap Hajime’s left shoulder. 

From what Hajime could tell, Chiaki was most likely doing that to test if it was the truth. After all, you can’t say you were hit by someone strong like Akane and walk around like nothing happened to you physically. He was too relaxed to pretend that Chiaki coming towards him would lead to him being hurt even more, so he had to think of a plan. Soon enough, Chiaki’s hand came in contact with his shoulder, and Hajime…

...instinctively drew in a breath, jerking back his shoulder as if he actually was hurt. Hell, it felt like it actually  _ did _ sting for a moment! He almost summoned 「Lean on Me」 to defend himself! Just what the hell was happening to him to make him feel this way?! From frightened for Akane’s lies, to being relaxed enough to lie to Chiaki’s face, to feeling physical pain from an injury he completely fabricated! This was outrageous!

Chiaki drew back her hand, looking apologetic as she sighed; Akane and Hajime were telling the “truth”, even if it had to be taken with far more than just a pinch of salt. “Sorry for aggravating your injury, Hajime. We were just… really worried for you. You both usually show up for dinner.”

Smiling with closed eyes, Hajime lightly rubbed his shoulder, still surprised that he was hurt so much from a fabricated injury. “It’s okay… You didn’t know. Can I maybe talk to Mikan later on for getting something to help me?  Akane did a real number on me, after all.”

“H-Hey…!” Akane clenched her fists, looking to the side. “You’ll be fine with a bit of time… Jeez, I didn’t think you’d be that bad…”

Chiaki sighed, drawing up her hoodie as she nodded. “I’ll ask her to get you an ice pack if I’m able to. Take care, you both… It’s time to come to the cabins, okay?”

Both Hajime and Akane looked at each other, before nodding. Kokichi… would probably still stay here in the morning, and they couldn’t continue to lie like this as it is. They smiled, walking behind Chiaki, the gamer beginning to take the long road home.

...This would be one hell of a hard thing to explain to Nekomaru and Mikan in the morning, though.

* * *

Akane and Hajime ended up going to dinner with everyone that night, Akane clearing out the whole kitchen and causing Teruteru to work overtime just to keep her fed. Hajime, of course, went with the classic combination of simple orange juice and rice, satisfying him even if it was a small meal. When they finished, they left the restaurant as soon as they could, before hanging around at the cabins for a bit to catch up on what had happened. In particular, Hajime wondered what brought Akane to lie in the first place. Sitting in the middle of the cabin area, they sat on the edge of the deck, dipping their feet in the water as Hajime started the conversation,

“Akane… I didn’t think you had it in you to lie to Chiaki’s face like that.” Hajime said, crossing his arms as he looked at her. “What brought that on all of a sudden? You’re not going to do that the next time we’re caught looking for Kokichi, right?”

The gymnast scoffed, before punching his left shoulder… which oddly didn’t evoke a reaction from him. Well, at least, none that related to the lie. Any punch from Akane would cause him to yelp and rub the area afflicted. “Of course not! I just felt like… like I  _ had  _ to, you know? Like if I didn’t, we’d be screwed! I’d have told her about that alien guy, but I couldn’t!”

Hajime quirked an eyebrow. “How come?”

She shook her head. “No, literally! I couldn’t! I tried to, but my mouth said  **something completely different** from what I wanted to say!”

“Something completely different, huh…” Hajime looked to his left arm, still rubbing it. “I guess I feel the same way. When I talked about you having hit me, it… felt real when Chiaki went to touch it.”

“Yeah, I figured something was up with that!” She harrumphed, poking his left arm to see if it would react. It didn’t. “How come you acted like I actually did hit you, huh? Since when were you so good at actin’, anyway?! Tryin’ to throw me under the bus… You got some  _ nerve _ tryin’ to fool Akane Owari—!” She clenched her fist, intending to punch Hajime for that, before the young man did what anyone would do in that situation.  
  
“H-Hey, hey! Calm down, Akane! I’m just as clueless as you are!” Hajime raised his hands in a defensive position, looking away as if Akane would strike his face. “It really did hurt at the time! I promise I wouldn’t  _ ever _ blame you for something like that!”

Akane slowly lowered her fists, still looking a bit upset even after Hajime tried to reassure her. She huffed, looking to the side as she avoided Hajime’s gaze. “Yeah, right. You were just tryin’ to push the blame on me.”   
  
“No… No, Akane, I…” Hajime reached over to Akane, lightly placing her hand on her shoulder. She flinched, but ultimately didn’t throw his hand off like he thought she would. “Hey… I’m serious. I didn’t mean to do that. It just happened without me even thinking about it. We’re  _ friends, _ alright? Whatever that was, I promise I won’t do it again.”

Akane stayed silent, not looking at Hajime. After what felt like a minute, she spoke at last, her voice sounding unusually soft.    
  
“...You promise?”

“Of course!” Hajime nodded, lightly rubbing Akane’s shoulder. “I won’t do it again if I can help it.”

“And you’re not sayin’ that just to get my guard down?” Akane looked to Hajime at last, eyebrows still furrowed as she spoke. “You do that and I’ll knock your teeth out.”

Again, Hajime nodded, a small smile on his face. “We’re friends, aren’t we? I wouldn’t do anything to sabotage our friendship like that. Besides, I...” He looked up to the sky, the starry night calming him down and relaxing himself enough to continue on with his train of thought. “I trust you, and… you’re one of my only true friends apart from Nagito and Chiaki. Whatever happens next, we’re gonna get through it together.”

Silence filled the night air for what felt like several minutes. Neither Hajime nor Akane said anything to break that silence, though Hajime could have sworn that Akane’s breath sounded quite shaky… Almost like what he said deeply affected her. Hajime’s hand remained on her shoulder, before he heard Akane speak softly once more.

“...Has anyone told you that you’re sappy as hell?”

Hajime looked down, only to feel a great warmth on his front as Akane wrapped her arms around him. It took him a few seconds to realise that Akane was hugging him. Sighing, he hugged her back, the smile on his face returning in full force as he patted her back. This felt rather nice…

Akane spoke once more, pulling away after a few seconds. “Thanks, Hajime… I mean it. We’ve got a lot of stuff to do together this summer, so we better give it everything we’ve got, okay?” She wiped a few tears from her eyes—ah, so she had been crying after all!—before clapping her hands. “We’re gonna go to bed, and then in the morning, we’re gonna see what that Kalamari guy is all about!”

Hajime laughed. “Kokichi, Akane! Kokichi!”  
  
“Gesundheit! Now let’s get outta here before Chiaki snaps us again, ‘cause no lying’s gonna get us outta whatever punishment she’ll cook up for us!” 

The two of them soon got back up and exchanged their farewells before heading to their separate cabins. Hajime climbed into his bed and ended up sleeping in minimal time, dreaming of the days to come and the things he’d do with his best friends. Given enough time, they’d end up coming to a decision on what to do next regarding that man, Kokichi…

...Speaking of, a shadowy figure lurked on the roof of Chiaki’s cabin, having watched the entire conversation between the two. The future would turn out to be very interesting in the upcoming days, and particularly so given their sudden arrival to Jabberwock Island. With a slasher-like smile on her face, they put a single finger to their lips, legs splayed out as they squatted on the very edge of the cabin. 

As soon as morning came, they’d see what an alien from space was truly capable of.

_ “Neeheehee… We’re gonna have a lot of fun together, Hajime, Akane…~” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an early Christmas gift. My story schedule has been slipping slightly, so I apologise for being later than I'd have liked.
> 
> Surprisingly enough, the eclectic cast of Danganronpa lends itself well for JoJo-esque shenanigans. I find myself having an easier time for this fanfic than I had for the BnHA crossover, even if writing that was incredibly fun. In the end, I'll have a lot of fun making this crossover, and especially so considering that Part 4 is one of my favourite parts. Words do not express my adoration for the I Am An Alien arc.
> 
> Writing Kokichi is difficult, but writing Hajime and Akane be friends is ridiculously fun.


	3. Interlude ① / She Blinded Me With Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief explanation on Hajime and Akane's Stands, alongside a conversation between the two. The laws of physics don't apply to Hajime, as Akane soon finds out.

_ STAND NAME: 「Lean on Me」 _

_ STAND USER: Hajime Hinata - Ultimate ??? _

_ Power: B  
_ _ Speed: A   
Range: C  
_ _ Durability: C   
Precision: A   
Potential: ??? _

_ 「Lean on Me」 is a Stand that primarily caters to Hajime’s main strengths. Hajime might not be physically powerful like Nekomaru or Akane, but what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in speed. Its appearance isn’t special in comparison to other Stands, but as was stated before, 「Lean on Me」 is a humanoid-like stand that’s many hues of green with goggle-like eyes and a mask with a zipper in place of its mouth. An ahoge like Hajime’s is at the top of 「Lean on Me」’s head, and the word “TALENT” is engraved on its shoulders in gold. Its clothing is also rather plain, with a simple black torso with white stripes in an X-pattern adorning the Stand. _

_ 「Lean on Me」’s main ability relates to its speed. Hajime primarily uses 「Lean on Me」 to either get him snacks quickly or to play visual tricks with Akane to entertain others, since its speed can be compared to a speeding bullet. Supposedly, the Stand is so fast that if it tried hard enough, it could create sounds similar to whip cracks should 「Lean on Me」 slap its hand through the air. Again, it’s not physically-gifted, but agility and speed help Hajime a lot when it comes to fights… though he hasn’t tried sparring with anyone just yet. Who knows what would happen in a situation like that? On another note, 「Lean on Me」 works in favour of Hajime’s quick thinking skills, which help him construct plans with his ability in only a few seconds. _

_ The only drawback to such a Stand like Hajime’s is that using it can be taxing on his body due to the sheer speed his Stand moves at, not to mention it has very little actual practical use outside of a fight. Hajime doesn’t exactly like picking fights on Jabberwock Island, no matter how much Akane begs him to fight her. The last time it happened… well, let’s just say that Mikan had her hands full the whole day caring after both Akane and Hajime. Hajime found himself hurting in places he didn’t even know could hurt. _

_ ...It’s nothing major, but Hajime doesn’t know why the Stand has that zipper on its mouth. 「Lean on Me」 isn’t something that he knows full well just yet, and its power was one he discovered by sheer accident, but something tells him that opening that zipper may lead to **something he doesn’t want to know** resurfacing. _

* * *

_ STAND NAME: 「Scarface」 _

_ STAND USER: Akane Owari - Ultimate Gymnast _

_ Power: A  
_ _ Speed: B   
Range: B  
_ _ Durability: A   
Precision: C   
Potential: B _

_ 「Scarface」 is a Stand that bolsters Akane’s already tremendous physical capabilities and makes them soar to new heights. It goes without saying that Akane is one of the stronger members of Class 77-B, and as a result, her Stand enhances them to the point of being near broken. Really, the only thing stopping Akane from steamrolling her opponents is her intelligence, not to mention her lack of foresight save her gut instincts. In terms of appearance, it’s similar to 「Lean on Me」 in that it’s a humanoid Stand; as stated before, it’s primarily coloured red with silver lines streaking its rather muscular arms and legs, a heart-shaped hole was in its stomach, and its eyes were pure black. The silver lines lead to the Stand having deep grooves all over, and its fists have screwhead indentions in its arms and the back of its hands. Its hips are sharp, much like an anchor, and it has no mouth. _

_ 「Scarface」's main ability is the ability to have Akane’s pain tolerance spike whenever her adrenaline reaches a certain level in her body. Essentially, adrenaline in the body can be used to heighten one’s reactions, owing itself to being the “fight-or-flight hormone”. Adrenaline also helps to dull any pain one may feel. 「Scarface」 helps Akane by boosting adrenaline production and allowing her to not feel pain in a fight despite whatever injury she may attain. Combined with the Stand’s already useful range and power on its own, and Akane Owari is a beast in any fight she takes on. On her lonesome, Akane is a formidable opponent, but the addition of 「Scarface」 means that whoever comes up against her will not leave the fight in one piece… with the exception of Hajime Hinata. _

_ Despite such an incredible Stand ability, 「Scarface」 does have its drawbacks. Keep in mind that being unable to feel pain is not synonymous to being invincible. Though she doesn’t feel any pain, the injuries she acquires are indeed real. By not having any indicator that she’s in pain, it makes it more difficult for her to gauge when she needs to stop the fight to receive medical attention. Akane’s attraction to physical combat also means that even if she **did** acknowledge she was in pain, she’d neglect to get medical aid anyway. _

_ 「Scarface」 is powerful, but if Akane took the time to think of battle plans, it’s possible that she could truly become invincible and unbeatable in a fight. Then again, any Stand user can be invincible if they’re smart enough… _

* * *

“Hey, Hajime?”  
  


“Yeah, Akane?” Hajime looked up from the game Chiaki had lent to him, peering to the gymnast. The two of them were at the beach, chilling out long before Kokichi had even arrived at the island.

Akane looked down on him, seemingly in thought as she imitated Nagito and put a hand to her chin in an attempt to be smart. “Your Stand’s, like… crazy powerful, isn’t it?”

“I guess.” He shrugged. “I mean, it’s just really fast. I suppose if you’re not fast enough to see what’s happening, it’s powerful...”

“Yeah, exactly, but…” Akane put a finger to her chin, looking up to the sky as she mused aloud. “I never really learned a lot of things before you taught me some things, but… when you move something really fast, it gets hot, doesn’t it?”

Hajime beamed, putting a hand on Akane’s shoulder. “That’s right, Akane! I’m glad that you remember that from what I taught you a long time ago! I knew that teaching you even just _ something _ would help you out a lot!”

“Aw, shaddup.” Akane mumbled, a faint blush on her face as she looked away. “You just wouldn’t stop pestering me about teachin’ me basic stuff, that’s all.”

“Even though I offered you and didn’t pressure you at all?”  
  
“I said shut up!” Akane snapped. “As I was _ sayin’, _ if you move something really fast against another thing, that makes it super hot!”

Hajime nodded, putting a hand to his chin. “Yeah. That’s because of friction between the two objects. Rubbing them together makes the molecules move faster and have more energy, giving them a higher temperature.”

“Yeah, exactly!” The gymnast snapped her fingers. “Somethin’ like that! And your Stand gives you a lotta speed, doesn’t it?”  
  
Hajime quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah, it does… Well, it’s 「Lean on Me」 that has a lot of speed, but I get your point. Why do you ask?”

“Well, check it out! I got somethin’ good I had in mind!”

Before Hajime could ask what it was, Akane summoned her Stand and had it latch onto her feet. Once done, it began to swing Akane around, letting go towards the direction of Rocketpunch Market and making Akane soar through the air. Using her expert gymnastic skills, she stuck the landing and cartwheeled towards the back of the market, before emerging from the far side of the market and lifting up… a wooden pallet? With that done, 「Scarface」 picked her up by the back of her shirt, before throwing her towards the beach yet again. Through more aerodynamic feats, she at last arrived at the beach, firmly planting the wooden pallet in the sand and kicking off a nearby rock to be a few meters in front of the pallet. Once she landed on the ground, she rolled forward, before posing as she got to her feet. A bright smile was on her face.

“Heh. Pretty impressive, I know.”

Hajime sighed. “You could have just asked me to go get it, you know.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, but I wanted ta’ show off for a bit! Nothing wrong with a bit of fun!” Akane handed him a flat rock, enough for him to pick up and nestle firmly into his palm. She pointed to the wooden pallet, before speaking.

“So basically, if things get really hot when you rub ‘em together, and rocks can be used to start fires, then hitting somethin’ like a rock with your Stand should lead to somethin’ cool happening!”

Hajime looked to the rock in his hand, which 「Lean on Me」 soon picked up as they both looked to the pallet. “But… I’m pretty sure only certain types of rocks can make enough sparks to set a fire.”

Shrugging, Akane pat his back. “You won’t know until ya try, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Hajime sighed again, before looking at the rock with an incredulous look on his face. He doubted anything would happen, or at least to the effect that Akane was expecting. Closing his eyes, he willed every part of his body, and sent 「Lean on Me」 to rush its hand as quickly as possible towards the rock. With a sharp **CRACK** reverberating in the air from the sheer speed it went at, Hajime opened his eyes to see what would happen...

...and what he saw was a shower of sparks rising high into the air and completely covering the wooden pallet.

Oranges and yellows flew through the air and continued for three seconds after he lifted the rock off the larger rock. Hajime blanched, taking a step back as he processed what was happening. Eventually, the flurry of sparks died down, and the pallet was left totally black with smoke rising from the charred wood. From what he could tell, the thing Akane had in mind lead to something like that happening, and… he didn’t know what to make of it all! He managed to break the laws of physics, because there’s no way in Hell something like this should be possible in real life! Putting a hand to his head, Hajime stumbled back, being caught by 「Lean on Me」, who put him back on his feet as he tried to understand what had just happened.

“What… W-What was that?”  
  
Hajime looked to Akane, who looked equally as impressed.

“Huh. Didn’t think that’d actually work.”

“You—you didn’t think it would work?!”

“Hey, you taught me how friction works. I just didn’t know if it’d work when you’d have to do this! Pretty impressive, though!” Akane’s eyes sparkled. “That was like fireworks! You have to do it again sometime, Hajime!”

“For what?!” Hajime groaned. “I’m definitely not going to go around lighting bonfires just to show off!”

“You never know! You might end up using it in the future!”

Hajime sighed, though there was a slight smile on his face. “I hope I don’t ever have to use something like that again… but that’s interesting to know. I still find it strange, though, considering… I’m pretty sure physics don’t work that way…”

Akane shrugged, before lightly punching Hajime’s shoulder. “Hey, Monomi managed to make a cow disappear, and you’re gonna question somethin’ like this? Anythin’ can happen! Wouldn’t be surprised if we weren’t the only ones with Stands!”

“Yeah… Yeah, I guess so.” Hajime shrugged, before pulling back his game and slumping against the rock. “We’re gonna have to get rid of that wooden pallet, though.”

“Say no more!” 

Akane, using 「Scarface」, picked up the pallet, before swinging it around like a discus and throwing it far, far away into the sky. She dusted off her hands, before sitting back next to Hajime.

From there on, the two would continue to hang out until the day ended, where they would end up going back to their cabins after such an intense day. However, this snippet of their daily life wasn’t entirely meaningless. After all, given the nature of the world they live in, that wooden pallet that was thrown far through the sky would end up causing a strange chain of events happening.

After all, Kokichi’s arrival wasn’t _ just _ because he was bored. What do you think happened with the wooden pallet, given how high and hard Akane had thrown it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, to compensate for the long wait before.
> 
> I took a few liberties regarding the laws of friction and how it actually works. Again, writing these conversations is ridiculously fun, not to mention that writing slice of life is also something I take a lot of pleasure in doing.
> 
> I do hope that my style of writing doesn't lead to things being bland, however.


	4. Hajime Hinata and Akane Owari's Beautiful Summer Morning / Minute by Minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting from the beginning of the day, things begin to go downhill as certain people around Jabberwock Island act rather strangely. The main root of the problem? Most likely Kokichi.

“S-So, um, until you came in… you haven’t been feeling any pain?”

“No, I wouldn’t say so.”  
  
“But Chiaki told me that y-you had an injury on your left shoulder… When I touch it, you’re completely fine.” 

“...But it really _ did _ hurt at the time…”

“Hajime, p-please, you _ know _ how hard Akane can hit! I hadn’t seen someone in such a bad condition in all my years as a nurse! I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look like you’re in poor condition...”

“Then, ah… can I maybe get some painkillers just in case the pain flares up?”  
  
“Mmh… I don’t think you need them, but—b-but, just to be safe…! I’ll be back soon!”

Sitting on a bed in the hospital on the Third Island, Hajime sighed, looking out the window towards the horizon. Mikan Tsumiki—the Ultimate Nurse, and another one of Hajime’s many friends—had left to get him some medicine for the injury he had supposedly sustained the day earlier from Akane Owari. That might have been a lie at the time, but Chiaki recommended to Mikan that he visited her nonetheless. It was a long boat ride there, admittedly, and it wasn’t like it still hurt (and Hajime wasn’t sure exactly what made her recommend him to go here when a boat ride took over twenty-five minutes), but whatever Chiaki says goes. This, of course, was why he was sitting there right now, peering out the window.

The horizon was looking rather nice today… Right from there, he could see the center island in all its glory. The more he stared, however, the odder something seemed. Squinting, Hajime looked far and wide, noting that there appears to be a small figure at the very top of the administration building… Was the administration building there before? Wait, what kind of question is that? Of course it was… Of course it was. Hajime’s head felt a bit fuzzy, but it was probably nothing. The more Hajime looked, the more Hajime could make out some features… Purple hair, checkboard-coloured clothes… Was that Kokichi Oma—?

“Uyyaaaaah! I’m sorryyyyyyy!”

  
Breaking his concentration, Hajime’s head whipped back as he looked to the entrance of the room, where Mikan had tripped over and… for the sake of keeping things clean, let’s just say that the position she landed in was compromising. Getting up at once, Hajime quickly helped Mikan to her feet. The nurse, rubbing her head, whined in pain, before gently handing a small, white cardboard box to Hajime with a label on it. Sniffling, Mikan elucidated, Hajime moving to her side and rubbing her back as she spoke.

“I-I know it’s not much, but… um… I’ve given you a bit of paracetamol to dull the pain. If your left arm and shoulder continue to hurt, p-please come to me, and I’ll try to make it feel better, alright?”

Hajime nodded, before smiling. “Alright. I trust you, Mikan. Let’s get out of here, okay?”

The nurse shakily smiled, straightening her back as they both began to walk out of there together. Going through the hallways and the lobby, they walked out into the open air, the island sun relaxing Hajime as he got ready to traverse back to the first island. With a ferry arriving at the dock next to the third island (headed by none other than Monomi herself), Hajime and Mikan boarded onto the boat. After a few minutes passed, Monomi quickly started up the ferry, beginning the twenty-five minute trip back home.

As Hajime was on the edge of the ferry, his eyes wandered towards the Center Island, where the Administrative Building was situated. He… truly wonders if the Administrative Building was there before… Not to mention that vision he saw of Kokichi that morning. It was a bit hard for him to make out just from the sheer distance, but using 「Lean on Me」 to get just a bit closer to see helped him just a bit to see something, at least. From what he saw, Kokichi was… talking into something. Most likely a phone, based off of how it looked like he was talking into thin air. Hajime scoffed, finding it funny how Kokichi could get perfect reception standing on top of such a massive building. Just who would he be talking to, anyway? 

...He wasn’t… _ actually _contacting a spaceship or whatever, was he?

Huffing, Hajime’s eyes drifted up to the top of the top of the massive building, where he’d stare for a while. It was honestly mystifying. Frankly, Hajime… Hajime was wondering if all of this was right in the first place. Ferry rides and the such were homely and all, but some part of this felt wrong to him. In the end, he sighed, not noticing Mikan sliding up beside him as she stood next to him, arms together. She looked quite embarrassed. 

Looking to the side, Hajime blinked. “Is something wrong, Mikan?”

“H-H-Huh? No, no, not at all! I, um, well, you see, I—hahaha…” Mikan’s stuttering tended to act up whenever she was embarrassed… Well, around Hajime, at least. Hajime got off from the railing, turning to face her as she continued on. “You see, Hajime, I… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” Hajime asked. “What is it?”

“...It’s about your injury, um…” Mikan interlocked her fingers, looking away as nervous tears welled up in her eyes. “Y-You, ah… You… You weren’t actually injured, were you…?”

Hajime paused, contemplating how to answer, a bead of sweat dripping down his face as he thought about what he should tell her. Obviously, continue to keep up the lie would be a _ very _ bad idea, given that it would be both taking advantage of Mikan’s trust as well as leading to this lie snowballing into something Hajime can’t control. However, if he didn’t lie now, the facade would become undone, leading to Chiaki realising he and Akane were both covering something up… In all his thinking, he failed to notice Mikan inchling closer and closer to his face, before…

“I was… I _ was _ injured…”

All of a sudden, Mikan Tsumiki, the Ultimate Nurse, licked the talentless Hajime Hinata’s face.

“...I can tell when someone is lying just by licking their sweat, you know.”

As anyone would if that happened, Hajime freaked out, recoiling as he pressed his back against the railing.

“M-M-MIKAN! What—what in the—what is—?!”

“Hehehehe… If I were Sonia or Gundham, I’d say something cheesy like ‘This is the taste of a liar!’ or something like that...”

Mikan put hand to her cheek, smiling as she continued on with her words.

“Yes… It’s easy for me to read people’s faces, Hajime. I know you can do that with Akane because you’re both so... ** _close,_ ** b-but I know how to read someone’s face, too. The truth is that you weren’t injured at all… but you did feel pain.”

Hajime, still thrown for a loop after Mikan’s actions, put a hand to his face. Suddenly, jumping off the ferry wasn’t an unwelcome prospect, given the fact that his face felt hotter than the summer sun beating down upon him. He looked up to her, sputtering as he did so.

“Wh—but—w-was doing that really necessary?! What the—?!”

“Oh, Hajime, it’s okay… I-It is, really. I know you’re surprised, but a nurse works well in her element, you know…” The nurse giggled, putting her hands together as she continued to speak. “Please, just answer my question. Were you injured?”

Swallowing down the spit in his mouth, Hajime paused, before hesitantly nodding his head. “I… No… No, I wasn’t injured. I’m serious when I said I felt pain, but it wasn’t from an injury!”

“Hm… I see. Your brain must have tricked you into having pain, but I’d still recommend taking the paracetamol just in case the pain flares up, okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind! P-Please… never do that again!”

Mikan then began to sniffle, before wiping her eyes. “A-Ahhhh! I’m sorry for making you hate me, Hajimeeeee-heee-heeeeeeee!”

Thus began the remainder of the journey back to the First Island, where Mikan would be comforted by an increasingly confused Hajime. Ever since that Kokichi person had come to Jabberwock Island, everything was growing to be increasingly strange. Lying to the class representative, having doubts about everything on Jabberwock Island, witnessing Kokichi talk on a _ phone _ of all things, Mikan actually having the audacity to lick his face to see if he’s lying… Just what the hell happened to him? Was Akane experiencing anything odd, too?! 

His head swimming in uncertainty, Hajime barely even registered that the ferry had landed on the First Island. Hajime’s feet simply kept going forward, barely even whispering his goodbyes to Mikan as he continued to walk along the pathway. Instead of heading to the hotel, he stopped by the beach, searching for Akane. Maybe she’d have the same idea he had, searching for the origin of all their troubles?

...Well, great minds think alike, so it seems. The gymnast was sitting on a rock, grumbling to herself as she looked around her. Her eyes locked with Hajime’s, and she waved over to him.  
  
“Oi! Hajime! Get over here, will you?!”

Quickly, Hajime stepped off the main pavement, walking to where she was. He took a seat next to Akane.

“What’s the problem?”  
  
Akane furrowed her brow, before lifting a finger and putting it to his chin. “You ain’t gonna start actin’ weird too, are ya? I’ve had it with all these friggin’ people, I swear!”

Hajime lifted up his hands. How come Akane was acting so confrontational? “Uh… No. No, I… That’s why I’m here in the first place. Did _ you _ notice anything weird?”

“Notice? I’ve been with these people with a good few years, and I can just _ feel _ when somethin’s bad! I’ve seen some shit that just pisses me right off!”

So Akane was swearing? That must mean something bad _ really _ happened. Hajime gently put down Akane’s finger, before speaking again. “Like what? What’s been annoying you?” In response, Akane beat her fists together, before beginning to rant.

“Oh, I’ll tell you everything, alright! I’ve just about HAD IT with these guys! It all started this mornin’...”

* * *

Akane’s day started when, oddly enough, there was no breakfast on the table. In fact, everyone was virtually alone in the room, safe for herself and Teruteru. At first, she figured this would lead to the cook being perverted, but that all changed when she asked for some food. Something light would have done, like simple porridge or congee, but...

“W-Whaddya mean ‘I’m not makin’ no more food’?!”  
  
“It means I ain’t makin’ no more food, foo’! You _ and _ dat Richie Rich fella are workin’ me ta’ the bone er’ry god dang day makin’ eggs ‘n toast ‘n orange juice ‘n every food unda’ da sun like I owe you cold hard cash, so you can FORGET IT! Only thing youse gettin’ are dese leftovas I made last night and the junk food in da pantry!”   
  
“W-Wha—but you can’t just do that—!”  
  
“I CAN AND I WILL! MAKE YER OWN FOOD, AKANE!”

...Yeah. That just happened.

Much to Akane’s surprise, Teruteru simply pivoted on his heel and took his leave elsewhere, Leaving nothing but a small bowl with what seemed to be fried rice on the table, the gymnast picked up a fork, before taking a small bite of it. Even if it was Teruteru-quality food, her gut was telling her that this one might be a dud. Deciding to go against her gut instincts, she began to chew, before…  
  
“...PLUH! What the hell is this, Teruteru?! THIS RICE ISN’T EVEN COOKED!”

Taking the bowl, Akane threw it across the room, the rice scattering across the floor. Indeed, some grains of rice weren’t even cooked, which is odd given the fact that Teruteru was the Ultimate Chef. It wasn’t like him to intentionally do that to his own food, provided it wasn’t a mistake in the first place—in which case, he STILL wouldn’t do that! Left with a large hunger stewing in the pit of her stomach, Akane grumbled, before entering the kitchen.

Now, something of note is this: if Akane is hungry, it’s _ always _ wise to take cover and run. Not only will she gradually lose her energy, what she loses in energy only means it’s replaced with irritability. Akane is known for being a glutton, so anytime she’s hungry usually doesn’t end well. With her stomach rumbling, Akane begrudgingly made herself a simple (burnt) toast (barely considered a) sandwich. Yes, that’s right; she made a single slice of toast—which was burnt—and stuck it between two slices of bread, before at least attempting to eat it. It was definitely a far cry from the food she had gotten used to, but it’d have to do for now. God, it tasted awful…

Leaving through the staircase near the restaurant, Akane was met with the open air, the sun beating down on her as she approached the pool. Much to her surprise, Sonia—the Ultimate Princess—and Gundham—the Ultimate Animal Breeder—were together, though it didn’t seem like they were having fun. Sonia was speaking to Gundham, but Gundham barely emoted, if at all. Suddenly, he turned away, and moved away from the princess and instead headed in Akane’s direction. 

Akane quirked an eyebrow. Much to one of her friends’ annoyances, Gundham usually spent a lot of time with Sonia. It wasn’t exactly a secret that the two of them were quite close, even if Akane didn’t pay a lot of attention to those things. How come Gundham seemed unusually distant? Maybe he was just having a bad day, that’s all. With a forced smile—the Burnt Toast Sandwich was hard to swallow down—Akane waved in Gundham’s direction.   
  
“Heya, Gundham! How’s it been, huh? You look as cool as ever!”

Maybe a compliment might lighten his mood. Gundham’s eyes drifted towards her direction as he got ever closer to her, which gave her a bit of hope, even if Sonia seemed upset in the background. With a smile, she lifted a hand to give him a handshake…

...but, wordlessly, Gundham walked right past her, looking straight ahead as he traversed into the hotel lobby of Hotel Mirai, where the students stayed. 

Akane stood there slackjawed for a moment, still processing what just happened. Okay, it wasn’t like Gundham was particularly social in the first place, but he wasn’t downright callous. Judging by Sonia’s reaction, it seemed as if this apathy from Gundham had greatly affected her. Firstly Teruteru, and now Gundham himself… 

Akane walked towards Sonia, who seemed to not be any different. She cleared her throat, catching the princess’ attention.

“Uh… Uh, hey, princess. What’s up with Gundham?”

“Oh, I do not have a clue, Akane…” Sonia said sadly, eyes looking up to her as she spoke. “No matter what it is I talk about, Gundham refuses to talk! I was told by Kazuichi that he was feeling quiet, but I didn’t think it would be to this extent!”

“...Wha?” Akane put a finger to her chin. “You tellin’ me that Kazuichi of all people warned you about Gundham? Thought them two hated each others’ guts.”

“Well, it is true that Kazuichi holds Gundham in a relatively negative view, but I would like to think that the two of them can get along swimmingly.” Sonia sighs. “Come to think of it, even Kazuichi was concerned with his behaviour. Supposedly, everyone’s been acting rather strange.”  
  
“...And how d’ya know Kazuichi wasn’t tellin’ ya that just to screw with ya?”

Sonia narrowed her gaze. “Why would he? He might dislike Gundham, perhaps, but I doubt he would tell me that Hiyoko and Ibuki are crueler than usual just for the sake of it.”

“Huuuh? Those two? But Hiyoko wouldn’t hurt a fly!”  
  
Sonia stayed unusually silent, as if she wanted to correct Akane but decided not to. Akane continued on.

“...Kinda funny how you ‘n I’re the only ones knowin’ ‘bout this, though. Apparently Kazuichi does as well, but… how come it’s only us three?”

The princess sighed, before looking towards where Gundham left. “If I knew, I would tell you, Akane… I just cannot help but feel odd regarding this whole situation… Oh, how awful I feel thinking about Gundham and his recent personality change…”

Akane nodded, before patting Sonia’s shoulder as she moved past her. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Sonia. Bet’cha he’s just feelin’ under the weather.”

Sonia hummed. “But are we not all under the weather?”

“Yeah, but—” Akane sighed. “Look, he’ll be good soon enough, alright? Trust me, I’ve got this.”

“I can only hope so… I miss seeing Gundham smile like he used to.” Sonia dejectedly waved Akane away, only staring into the reflection of the water. The gymnast paused for a moment, looking at her as she wondered about what was going on. From what Akane could see, everyone was acting strangely all of a sudden. They acted… kind of like it was Opposite Day. Teruteru was refusing to cook, and Gundham was eerily quiet despite running his mouth constantly prior to today.

Akane pondered. It was a simple train of logic, really.

If all these weird events related to everyone acting opposite to themselves, and if this didn’t start until just this morning…  
  
“...DAMN IT! I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THAT ALIEN WAS BEHIND ALL OF THIS!”

Ignoring Sonia’s yelp of confusion at her outburst, Akane immediately left the vicinity of Hotel Mirai, before heading to the beach. Akane reasoned that Kokichi would still be there after all this time, so she’d just have to look around there until she found him. Soon enough, Akane would arrive at the beach, and began to search for Kokichi.

Of course, five minutes later… Well, that brings us to the present day.

* * *

“And that’s how things went! Teruteru not givin’ me anything good to eat this mornin’s made me REAL upset, not to mention all this crap with Gundham and the others!”

Hajime blinked, not quite sure what to make of the story. 

“...You ate a toast sandwich?”

“That’s not the damn point!” Hajime grunted as Akane punched his shoulder, rubbing it slightly as she continued on. “Fact of the matter is that Kokichi guy is the one that’s causin’ all this crap, and it’s up to us to roughhouse him and set him straight!”

“I mean—” Hajime averted his eyes, thinking about this course of action even further. “How can we be sure it’s because of him? How can we be sure it’s not coincidental—not to mention that he won’t even come if you plan on beating him up!”

“Doesn’t matter! It’s ‘cause of him that all our friends are actin’ weird, so it’s up to me to set that rat straight!” Akane pounded her fists together. A fiery determination was in her, the likes of which was enough to frighten Hajime. “C’mon, he should be somewhere around here! Just keep lookin’!”

Hajime shook his head. “Even if we did find him, we’d still have to actually fight him, and there’s no telling how powerful he might be if he can make all our friends act strange! Besides, how can you be so sure he’ll even show up? Is he even on this island anymore?!”

“Well, _ duh. _ What part of ‘I needed a vacation’ don’t you guys understand?” 

Both Akane and Hajime stiffened, eyes widening as they realised who exactly the voice belonged to. Akane mouthed multiple curse words in rapid succession, with Hajime slowly turning his head around as he hoped that the person that spoke up wasn’t too upset with him.

“U-Uh, out of curiosity, how long were you listening?”

“Enough to know that you people are mean and violent! WAAAAAAAAAH! I CAN’T EVEN HAVE A VACATION WITHOUT BEING BULLIEEEEEEEEED!”

Kokichi Oma threw his hands into the air as he stood on a nearby rock, looking honestly hurt as tears began to pour down his face. This was disconcerting enough for Hajime to turn around in full as he watched Kokichi throw what was basically a tantrum. Akane, on the other hand, had enough of his antics, rushing towards him with her fist outstretched. Hajime was caught off guard, unable to stop her from rushing to fight Kokichi. With a fierce battle cry, Akane’s eyes practically sparked with yellow electricity as she shouted loud enough to cause ripples in the sea.  
  
“I’VE GOT YOU NOW! 「Scarface」, GET READY TO KICK SOME ASS! URRRYOHHHHHHHH—!”

Akane and her Stand both lifted a fist, intending to drive it right into Kokichi to knock him out, but much to their surprise… Kokichi simply jumped.

It was a bit too quick for the two of them to realise at first, but when Akane’s fist came into contact with the rock and split it in half, they both realised that Kokichi had simply avoided Akane’s punch. Now, let it be known that even _ without _ 「Scarface」, Akane’s reflexes were incredible; so much so that the only person that can rival her is Hajime, and that’s only _ because _ of his Stand ability. Realising that she missed her punch made Akane pause, before looking back up and glaring at Kokichi. The self-proclaimed alien smiled, speaking as he remained in the air and slowly fell back down.   
  
“Jeez, you’re _ sloppy! _ And they actually call you the Ultimate Gymnast?”   
  
“Shut up! Shut up already!” Akane jumped up, planning to strike Kokichi, the fiery determination in her eyes flickering ever stronger as she started to uppercut him—

“C’mon, you should have got this the first time.”

—and promptly got kicked down by Kokichi. Turns out that, despite his stature, Kokichi is a _ lot _ stronger than he looks. Akane got sent down careening towards the ground, Hajime barely getting out of the way before impact. A dust cloud was sent up thanks to the amount of sand disturbed by the impact, causing both Hajime and Akane to cough heavily before Kokichi spoke up again. This time, he was sitting on a nearby rock, placing his arms on his knees as he leaned forward and spoke.

“Jeez, Akane, I can’t believe you made me jump like that! I haven’t had a workout like that in _ ages~” _

Akane grit her teeth, coughing as she propped herself up on her arms. “Why… Why, you… I oughta… I’M GONNA FRIGGIN’—”

“That’s enough, Akane!” Hajime spoke up at last, kneeling down to support her as he looked up at Kokichi. He didn’t understand what was going on, but even he could tell that Akane wasn’t in any condition to fight in a state like that. Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath, fixing up his tone so he could sound at least a _ bit _ respectful towards Kokichi (even if he didn’t think he deserved it). “Alright… Alright, Kokichi. You’ve got us. What do you want?”

“Oh, I just wanted to talk to my _ friends, _ that’s all.” Kokichi giggled, putting a hand to his cheek. “Is that really so wrong?”

Hajime shook his head. “Kokichi… Let’s cut to the chase already. It’s not a coincidence that you happened to be at the beach where both Akane and I decided to meet up. You… **expected** us to show up here, didn’t you?” 

The alien smiled, before clapping his hands. “Bravo, Hajime! I knew you could connect the dots! You really are smarter than you look, ain’tcha?”

Coughing, Akane glared at Kokichi, speaking even as her speech was peppered with coughs and wheezes. “Cut… Cut the damn crap… All our friends are… _ hgk… _ actin’ crazy… That’s because of you… isn’t it?”

Again, Kokichi clapped his hands, a bright grin on his face as he did so. “Bravo, Akane! I knew you could connect the dots! You really are smarter than you look, ain’tcha?”

“Repeating yourself doesn’t make you funny, you jackass—!”

“AKANE!” Hajime reprimanded, casting a glance to Akane to get her to quiet down. “You’re not in a state to argue. Just relax for now, and things will work out, alright?”

Grumbling, Akane nodded, closing her eyes. The ground looked mighty comfortable, anyway... Shaking his head, Hajime looked up to Kokichi once more, speaking with a low tone as his expression darkened.   
  
“What do you want from us, Kokichi?”

“...Honestly?” Kokichi shrugged, his lips thinning as he looked rather bored of the whole situation. “I am _ sick _ of this goody two-shoes crap you guys’ve got going on around here. Like, Gawd! Nothing interesting happened in all the time I’ve monitored you guys! You people need some _ action _ in your lives!”

Hajime gasped. “So… So you were watching us—!”  
  
“Yeah, ‘cause I needed to gauge where I was gonna stay for my vacation. _Duh_.” 

Even if Hajime doubted that Kokichi was an alien, Kokichi’s resoluteness when making such bold claims irked him just a bit for him to momentarily play along with it. Akane had fallen asleep, and Hajime took to slinging her arm around his shoulder in order to get her to not faceplant on the ground. Standing up gradually so she can lean onto him, Hajime furrowed his brow, before speaking again. 

“So you just want us to do something interesting?”  
  
“Yup.”   
  
“And you’re the reason everyone is acting weirdly?”   
  
“Yup yup.”

“...You’re able to turn them back to normal, right?”

“Yup yup yup.”

“Then what exactly is it that you want us to do to help you not be bored?!”  
  
Hajime’s question hung in the air for a moment, an answer not immediately showing itself thanks to Kokichi’s hesitation. Even if he was most likely lying, Hajime couldn’t afford to take that chance. With Akane in the state she’s in—though she might end up shrugging it off after a bit of rest—it wouldn’t be wise to provoke Kokichi any further.

“...That’s a good question, Hajime. What _ is _ it that I want you to do?”   
  


The way Kokichi had spoke made Hajime slightly regret asking his question. Akane stirred slightly, creaking open an eye as if she was curious at what it was Kokichi had in mind.  
  
“You see… You people have been living like this for far too long. It’s like this summer’s gone on forever, and after a while, you can only do so many heartwarming things before things get stale, y’know?”

...Hajime’s blood ran cold. Kokichi’s expression had changed to the point where, even in the bright summer sun, every inch of Kokichi was coated in darkness. With shadows cast over his face, his mouth had grown unnaturally large, also pitch black despite it being day. His eyes had also become freakishly terrifying, Kokichi’s irises growing to the point of covering the whites of his eyes. It was unsettling how Kokichi looked so creepy… Almost as if he was truly unnatural, not from this world... 

“What I want you to do… is to **do something interesting.** I want you to do something_—anything— _ to break this monotony. Do something to wake them up from this dream of theirs! They wake up, have fun, go to bed and sleep! Something like that would drive _ anyone _ insane!”

“...What… What are you saying?”

Kokichi laughed. “Don’t you get it? You’ve been having too much fun, and I’ve returned from the depths of space to liven things up. Can’t tell much of a story without conflict.”

Hajime pauses one more time, before narrowing his eyes. “And how do you expect me to do it? It’s not like we have anything to lose from having fun, like you’ve said.”

“Maybe, but let me cut it to you like this...” Kokichi stands up, the darkness covering him only furthering to make him look a lot more **menacing** than before. 

**“If you don’t cause any disruption in the next three days, your friends won’t ** ** _ever_ ** ** be the same again.”**

“...You’re…” Sweat poured down Hajime’s forehead in droves. “You’re… not serious…”

“Hey, hey, calm down! I’m not expecting you to trap everyone in a Killing Game and go about killing each other! Murder’s not something _ I’d _ condone, after all.”   
  
For some reason, this failed to help Hajime’s conscience, but Kokichi continued on nevertheless.

“I’ll help you out, even. I’ve got the perfect target in mind! All you have to do is get **that person** to snap out of this monotony and I promise everyone will be back to normal.”

Hajime was hesitant to ask, but Akane asked in his stead.

“...Who the hell’s **‘that person’?”**

Kokichi smiled, before speaking. “I’ll cut a deal with you both, alright?”  
  
“A deal?” Hajime questioned. “What… kind of deal?”   
  
“Oh, it’s a simple deal, really. Here’s the condition…”

Hajime Hinata doesn’t believe in aliens, but Kokichi Oma’s next words caused his suspension of disbelief to heighten and Akane Owari’s head to flick up.

“...If I tell you **the secret of my ability,** I’m counting on you to **deceive Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu** to get the ball rolling, okay?”

It was at that moment that Hajime realised that this was going to be one hell of a challenge for him.


	5. The Mystery of 「Lips Are Movin」 / The Wonder of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi finally reveals his special ability, and he gives them a headstart in trying to find Fuyuhiko. Of course, this doesn't work out quite as well as they would have expected.

The only thing that filled the air was the sound of waves crashing against the beach. Silence between the three on the beach permeated through the air, though for different reasons. Akane was unable to speak, though her expression showed that she was beyond surprised; Kokichi had nothing else to say, having already dropped a bombshell on the two friends; and Hajime was… well, to put it colloquially, “absolutely fucking gobsmacked”.

What Kokichi had asked him to do was relatively simple. Using **Kokichi’s ability, ** all Hajime needed to do was **‘snap him out of his monotony’. **Because… Akane and Hajime already had, apparently? Whatever. It wasn’t like Hajime had a choice, anyway. Supposedly, Hajime only had three days to do this or else all of his friends—with the exception of Akane, alongside Sonia and Kazuichi, according to Akane’s account—would stay doing weird things… permanently. That, uh, wasn’t exactly what Hajime wanted, given Mikan’s sudden ability to sense liars just through their sweat.

The problem was that the “him” and “his” in **‘snap him out of his monotony’ ** happened to refer to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the Ultimate Yakuza. It goes without saying that someone that’s the Ultimate Yakuza can be quite… _ rough and confrontational, _ to put it lightly. Hajime barely even got to know him as well as others have, though Fuyuhiko was at least on speaking terms with him. How, pray tell, was someone like him meant to “deceive” someone that’s an heir to the leadership position of the Kuzuryu clan? He’s probably seen every trick in the book twice by now—not to mention that Fuyuhiko finding out Hajime’s intentions might lead to him living a _ very _ short life!

In response to this, Hajime’s train of thought came to a screeching halt, deciding to focus on the next best thing. Kokichi mentioned before that **the secret of his ability** might be the key to helping him deceive the soon-to-be Yakuza leader. If it truly is as powerful as much as it does secretive, maybe it really will make this task an easier one. Perhaps… it might be a **Stand** as well? It would be a bit of a relief knowing that there are other Stand users apart from Akane and himself…

“...Well? How about it, Hajime?”  
  


Hajime’s eyes locked with Kokichi’s gaze, the so-called alien having that ever-present smile on his face. Even if he didn’t exactly want to believe in anything he has to say, he had to take a chance and do it for Akane’s sake. She might have been grumbling and most likely wanted to wipe that grin off his face, but… what else could Hajime do? Either he listen and go on what was basically guaranteed pain for him, or he _ doesn’t _ listen and end up dooming all his friends to not act like themselves for God knows how long.

His expression was resolute. Standing high despite Akane’s weight on him, Hajime spoke softly, eyebrows furrowed.

**“...Your ability. **I want to see it before I go through with whatever it is you want me to do.”

Kokichi laughed. “Smart, Hajime! Every self-respecting person should _ always _ question any offer given to them!”

Hajime didn’t respond. He glared at Kokichi, waiting for him to continue.  
  
“Buuuut, anyway, my ability is a simple one. You’ve already seen it firsthand while talking to that Chiaki gal.” Kokichi hummed, putting a finger to his chin. “It’s not something I’d use in a fight, but it’s good for pranks, nishishi~”

Again, Hajime didn’t budge even an inch, looking at Kokichi warily.

Kokichi pouted. “Not even a peep? Jeez, tough crowd.”

Coughing, Akane spat at the ground. “Shaddup and show us already… Goddamnit… Just show us…”

“Hmmm… Fine. This is a simple ability, really, but let’s just saaaay… It’s kinda weird. Goodness knows how you might react when you see it!”

“Ugh! Just do it already—!”

Kokichi put a single finger to his lips, his smile growing to an unnatural degree as he looked down the gymnast…

...and spoke in Akane’s voice.  “Done and dusted. What’s next, Akane?” 

To say that both Hajime and Akane were surprised would be a massive understatement.

“I—” Hajime sputtered, “What was that?! How did you—”

“This is my ability, dumbo. Jeez. I thought you were smart enough to know instantly what I’m doing.”  Kokichi snapped his fingers, speaking in his normal voice. “Since it’s in my blood to be a liar, it’s only fitting that I’m able to steal someone’s voice to lie as them, right? Pretty darn useful when it comes to extortion!”

Hajime didn’t respond, instead thinking about this information over in his head. Was… Was that really it? Was Kokichi able to **‘steal’** someone’s voice and leave it at that? Sure, Hajime’s Stand was blindingly fast, and Akane’s Stand was stupidly strong, but is Kokichi’s ability really that simple? Hajime glanced from Akane’s face—still surprised by what she heard—and then to Kokichi himself, who looked insultingly smug with how he managed to baffle the two of them. He shook his head.

“...That’s not it.” Hajime murmured. “If that’s so, then… when I lied that my arm hurt, why did it hurt for real? That has to be another one of your tricks.”

Huffing, Kokichi crossed his arms. “Aw, phooey. I was kinda hoping you would have forgotten that, but… yeah, that _ is _ another one of my tricks. It’s super embarrassing, but…” The young man’s train of thought drifted off, seemingly hoping to change the subject, but a simple glare from Hajime was enough to make him crack. Sighing, he puts his thumb to his mouth, speaking hesitantly—which in of itself could be a lie, based off how the mischievous glint in his eyes doesn’t let up for even a second. “Basically, I can turn **any lie into the truth.** ‘Kay? It’s really as simple as that, so don’tcha go speculating about how strong I really am!”

Silence pervaded the air for a moment, Hajime and Akane looking… incredibly confused instead of shocked like Kokichi hoped. What felt like an eternity passed before Kokichi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, alright, I’m being serious. Seriously, it’s just impersonating someone’s voice and also turning lies into reality. Is that seriously so hard to grasp?”

“Uh… Duh, numbnuts.” Akane spat out, a slight smirk on her face as she looked up to him. “You can’t just go ‘round making any lie the truth. That’s, like, reality-warping, and my gut’s tellin’ me that’s pretty much impossible without breakin’ the universe.”

Kokichi quirked an eyebrow. “What, impossible like  how Hajime’s hiding some Monocoins in his chest pocket despite being supposedly flat broke?”   
  
“Pfft. Yeah, right. Hajime’s broke enough that we gotta do some chores around the island ‘n crap to earn some pocket money.” She looked up to Hajime, slowly getting up on her feet as her injuries began to ease up a little bit. “You tell ‘im, Hajime! Guy’s so cocky that he’s speakin’ hot shit, so you and I gotta wipe that smirk off his face!”

Hajime nodded. “Got it. You’re really stretching this one, Koki… chi… What…?” As he went to reach into his pocket, he suddenly felt a cold sense of dread grip him. It was so odd—but some part of him felt as if doing this was a bad idea. With sweat dripping down his forehead from seemingly nowhere, Hajime’s face darkened as he reached inside, rummaging around for the insides…

_ ...Clink-clink-clink… clink-clink. _  
  
“W-WHAT THE HELL—?!” Hajime pulled out four Monocoins, staring at them with eyes wider than Akane’s ever seen them before. The coins both fell onto the sand, with the monochrome bear insignia on them facing upwards for everyone to see. Hajime was shocked, most certainly, because it’s _ pretty _ difficult to sneak four metal coins into someone’s shirt. Akane herself glanced at the coins, then to Kokichi, then to Hajime at last, sputtering as she accuatorily pointed a finger at him. 

“What… What the hell was that, Hajime? You screwin’ with me? There’s no goddamn way you’d pocket that stuff from me when we both know how pricey some of the stuff here is—!”  
  
“That’s the point, Akane!” Hajime says, looking at her with bewilderment etched on every corner of his face. “Kokichi’s not lying this time! His ability really is to **turn any lie into the truth,** and there’s no better proof than the coins on the ground!”

“Yeah, right. What, you think he can be able to just magic this stuff into existence! Look, we can do a simple test.”

Kokichi, having watched with amusement, had his interest piqued further with Akane’s bold statement. “Oh? So you’re willing to call me out on it, huh? Sure, I’ll call your bluff! Go nuts!”  
  
Laughing, the gymnast pointed at Kokichi, posing fantastically as she did so—the first of many in their adventure, as a matter of fact. With a coin in her other hand, it was held between her index and her middle finger, showing the back to Kokichi as she spoke. Her pointing hand was twisted with her palm facing the sky, making her look particularly dramatic. Her teeth bared and her eyes ablaze with confidence, it’d be easy to say that she was pretty goddamn sure that this ruse would be easy to prove was false.  
  
“Hajime kept hammerin’ information in my head. While I mighta’ forgot some things—like, y’know, all the names of the capitals in some countries, or how many kilograms are in a tonne—he taught me enough so I can call out your bullcrap easily! Check this out!”  
  
Taking the coin in her hand, she held it up for both Kokichi and Hajime to see.

“Jabberwock Island’s a pretty famous tourist location, but I learned after stayin’ in the library that it’s pretty much because of a massive gold rush that happened an odd sixty years after it was discovered. Most of the stuff here was paid for _ from _ that gold, and there’s so much of it today that the government decided that the currency should be made out of solid gold!”

Akane placed it on her hand so she could study it herself.

“Now, I’m not _ that _ dumb. I know that solid gold coins are probably too expensive to actually keep makin’, so they gotta mix it in with other stuff in order to make sure people don’t melt it down and yadda yadda yadda... but if there’s one thing that I know from reading all day, it’s that gold’s really mal… malle… mallebuh… You can bite into it and it’ll leave a mark! If these coins are the real deal, then I’ll just bite into it, and we’ll see if Kokichi’s telling the truth!”

With little else for her to explain, Akane merely held the coin between her fingers, before putting it up to her mouth and softly biting on it… and being surprised enough to throw it at breakneck speeds into a rock, where it would be embedded for the duration of the rock’s existence. On the coin was Akane’s teeth marks, clearly shown through the little dents made by her front teeth; by all accounts, the gymnast was freaking out.  
  
“What… What the hell? That’s actual—that’s solid gold! Where the hell did he get that from? Did he plant them on you or something, Hajime?!”

“I have no idea!” Hajime explained exasperatedly, eyeing Kokichi. At least _ someone _ was enjoying it, based off of how Kokichi was bellowing with laughter. “I can’t believe it… but it looks like Kokichi’s Stand ability allows him to **impersonate people** and also **make any lie ** ** _‘reality’! _ **I don’t understand it myself, but he’s the real deal!”

“...Stand ability? Is that what you call these things?” Kokichi mused.

“I—huh?”  
  
“You called my ability a Stand. Kinda funny, but I like the name, so I’ll steal it off ya!”

Akane quipped. “Wait, so… You don’t know what a Stand is?”

Kokichi shrugged, shaking his head. “If it’s something crazy strong, then that’s what I’ve got.”

“But… can you see this guy?” Akane summoned 「Scarface」 motioning towards it.  
  
“Who, Hajime?” Kokichi scoffed. “Yeah, _ duh. _ He’s about as thick as a doorway, there’s no way I can’t see him.”  
  
Akane looked towards her Stand, before noticing that Hajime was standing right behind it. Kokichi’s claim of seeing Stands might not be totally true after all, but… there’s no denying that Kokichi’s ability was supernatural in nature. Looking to Kokichi, the gymnast furrowed her brow, before speaking softly—uncharacteristic for someone as brash as her.

“Alright. What’re you gonna call your ability, then? You gotta have _ some _ fancy name for it, don’t you?”

Kokichi put a finger to his chin, thinking about it for a moment, before a devious smile appeared on his face.

“...How about we just call it **「Lips Are Movin’」** and leave it at that? We’re burning daylight.”

He stretches a hand out to the both of them, purple eyes shimmering with glee.

“The time limit starts tomorrow, but I’m trusting you guys to cook up a plan on how to get that Kuzuryu guy right where he least expects it.”

* * *

In the end, the three of them ended up heading to the restaurant. After all, it was the afternoon, and the chances are that many of the inhabitants of Jabberwock Island would end up going there for a quick social gathering. Of course, due to “extraterrestrial concerns”, Kokichi opted to hang back and watch them—which would make sense, given the fact that he was still pretending to be an alien. In the end, Hajime and Akane had gone up the Hotel Lobby into the restaurant, walking up the stairs together to see who was inside.

Inside the restaurant were a multitude of people. Some were chatting, some were brooding in the corner, but everything felt a bit… tense. Hajime kinda felt uncomfortable seeing Hiyoko and Mahiru talk when they both seemed to be on edge and their conversation went from being friendly to outright passive-aggressive. Even Byakuya Togami, the big eater and even bigger-boned student of the group, was eating very little. It made Akane surprisingly not feel hungry, which isn’t really a good thing. Maybe it was a blessing or maybe it was a curse, but walking into the restaurant didn’t attract anyone’s attention, which was… honestly unnatural. When they came here, everyone was such good friends. What happened?

Luckily enough for them, the person that they were looking for—Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the Ultimate Yakuza—was sitting in the middle of one of the buffet tables facing away from them, helping himself to some fried dough cookies. Which… is also unnatural. Didn’t Akane’s story tell them both that Teruteru refused to make anymore food for the students here? Where did Fuyuhiko get those from? Oh, to hell with it—now wasn’t the time to wonder about where he got the dough from. Summoning her Stand, Akane used 「Scarface」 to go up behind Akane, communicating with him “telepathically”. A rather useful method for private conversation.  
  


_ “Be careful, Hajime. I dunno what the hell’s going on, but I don’t like it.” _ Akane’s eyes narrowed, focusing onto Fuyuhiko. _ “It’s kinda too perfect that all these people are here. Fuyuhiko doesn’t seem too hard-pressed about things at all.” _

Hajime nodded, 「Lean on Me」 appearing behind Akane as well. _ “Yeah, I don’t like this either. Everyone’s really on edge… I kind of wonder if Fuyuhiko even noticed how weird people are acting all of a sudden.” _

_ “Well, whatever happens, you have to be careful. As soon as something weird happens, you gotta tell me and we’ll try again tomorrow.” _

Hajime nodded, beginning to make strides towards the gangster and swerving in-between the crowd. Akane trailed behind, noting how weird things were being—Hajime had to maneuver around the stark-raving mad Ibuki Mioda, swiftly avoid an increasingly-agitated Mahiru and Hiyoko, and had to avoid bumping into Gundham, who had been feeding his hamsters. It’s like the universe was conspiring to make his life a living hell in an attempt to reach Fuyuhiko himself! After a bit of trials and tribulations, Hajime was finally able to reach Fuyuhiko and reached out to him at last…

“Hey, Fuyuhiko, I—”

...and, all of a sudden, Hajime’s arm was grabbed by someone. Not with any force, but just enough to make him stop in his tracks. Looking up to the owner of that hand, Hajime’s face drained of colour.

“Good afternoon, Hajime. I’m afraid that the young master has no intention of speaking to you today.”  
  
Fuyuhiko’s servant, Peko Pekoyama—the Ultimate Swordswoman—was the one that was grabbing onto Hajime’s hand. Now, there were two problems with this, one being _ significantly _ more important than the other. The first one was that Peko was actually Hajime’s crush even now, meaning that doing this was not only awkward but also something that Hajime would really rather not face right now. Of course, this is a rather inconsequential problem in face of the fact that Peko was Fuyuhiko’s servant, meaning that him being held back like this meant that she was most likely enforcing orders. However, Hajime had nothing to fear; using his charisma would be sure to hopefully diffuse the situation.

Hajime smiled. “Good afternoon to you as well, Peko. I, uh, kinda had to talk with him because I need something from him—”

Peko’s steely gaze didn’t let up even once, her response being quick and cold. “He’s not in the mood to speak with you. Good day.”  
  
And, with her strength, Peko threw Hajime’s hand back, causing him to stumble and knock back into Akane, who had been right behind him that whole time. Now, Hajime would have been willing to forgive Peko for being protective; after all, he meant the world to her, and there’s nothing Hajime would do to her just for loving him like she did. However, it was Akane that couldn’t accept that, pushing Hajime back to his feet and pointing to Fuyuhiko.

“Look, we just need to talk with him for five seconds! Just five seconds of his time is all we need!”  
  
Peko shook her head. “The young master is busy indulging himself on some fried dough cookies—”  
  
“TO HELL WITH HIS FRIED COOKIES!”  
  
Akane’s hunger had flared up while being in the presence of such good food, and anyone that knows Akane is aware that she can be irritable when it comes to being truly hungry. With a glare on her face and her teeth bared, Akane’s outburst turned heads and focused all attention on the two of them. Even the cold and aloof Peko was shocked. At that moment, however, Akane could care about little else; getting this shitty task of theirs done was all that she wanted to do, and having all her friends act so weird be shelved for some pipsqueak eating fried cookies was the breaking point! With a finger pointed towards the swordswoman’s chin, Akane began to let loose her frustration.  
  
“Hajime and I are gonna talk to Fuyuhiko, and nothing’s gonna stop us! All we need is just a bit of time with him and then he can go back to stuffing his face with that crap for all I care—right here, right now, it’s a _ must _ that we have to talk to him!” Akane fumed, continuing her rant. “I mean, if he can’t spare a minute to talk about something, then what’s more important, huh? Those fried dough cookies, or his classmates?!”

Silence reigned throughout the restaurant, the only thing that was heard being Akane’s heavy, angry breathing, and the soft munching of fried dough cookies. Peko herself looked both shocked and rather offended that Akane had to gall to speak about her master like that. Hajime, in the meantime, was gauging everyone else’s reactions; from what he could tell, everyone was having a good time until Akane raised her voice like that. It was rather curious, Hajime had to admit—would Fuyuhiko finally spare a moment to talk to them?

...Fuyuhiko motioned to Peko to come closer, beckoning her with a single finger. Leaning into him, Peko heard Fuyuhiko whisper a few words into her ear. A few more sentences were spoken, and those sentences were all that Peko needed to hear before nodding and setting her back straight. Fuyuhiko got up from his seat… and left towards the back entrance of the restaurant where the stairs to the outside were. Akane noticed, and went to go after him, hand outstretched towards the back of his collar—

“That is enough, Owari.”

Peko’s hand immaculately caught onto Akane’s wrist, making her stop in her tracks as she looked back to the swordswoman. At this point, Hajime was willing to intervene, raising his hands in an attempt to at least calm things down. The patrons of the restaurant didn’t want to be a part of this, meaning they all left as quickly as they arrived—the resulting confrontation was sure to leave a mark on all those involved. The gymnast looked back, sweat dripping down her forehead as she spoke to Peko.

“Peko—what the hell is the matter with you? We have to talk to him! Fuyuhiko can’t just walk up and leave us be—!”

“He doesn’t want to speak to you.” Peko said once more, beginning to look slightly irritated. “He told me just now that he wants to be left alone and that seeing you two again will not lead to a pretty sight… Well, of course, I paraphrased a bit.” Peko smiled softly, though to Akane it was more mocking than adorable. “What he said was a bit more vulgar.”  
  
“Yeah, well, too damn bad! I’m going to talk to him—both me _ and _ Hajime—and we’re getting to the bottom of this!”

“You will do no such thing.”  
  
“Or what?” Akane dared to ask, furrowing her brow. “You gonna try and intimidate me? I don’t need to even fight you, I can just walk out the door—”

Akane didn’t even finish her sentence before she was flung back towards the other side of the restaurant, a loud **CRASH** reverberating around the room as Hajime processed what he just saw. With wide eyes, he looked towards Peko, putting a hand out to her.  
  
“Peko, I…! What’s the matter with you?! Don’t you think that doing that was a bit much?!”  
  
“Silence.” Peko flatly stated, glaring at Hajime. “For disrupting the young master’s mealtime, I’m afraid that you both have to be subdued.”  
  
“Pfth… Mealtime? You make him sound like he’s a goddamn kid!” Akane spat out, looking up from the wreckage she was laying in. Evidently, being thrown into tables and chairs and glass and what-have-you would make a large mess. The gymnast got herself up from the rubble, wiping her forehead clean as she glared at Peko. “What, you want a piece of us? All we wanted was just to speak to him!”

Hajime nodded, getting ready to retaliate if necessary. “We don’t want to fight, Peko! We just need to talk to Fuyuhiko!”  
  
“You know that I can’t do that.” Peko looked unnaturally calm, an eerie look of contentedness on her face as she reached up and undid the ribbon to her swordbag. As the top was undone, Peko reached up and took the grip of her sword, slowly pulling it out. Much to Akane and Hajime’s terror, instead of a bamboo sword, it was a steel one. Yes, indeed—instead of Peko’s usual bamboo _ shinai, _ she had replaced it with a proper _ katana, _ brandishing it and showing it to them. The blade was impeccably clean, enough to show their reflection in it. “Fuyuhiko gave me the order to make sure you two don’t come back. Perhaps being sent to the hospital will do…”

Hajime blanched. Peko was like a completely different person—a far cry from the stoic yet caring person Hajime had known. Indeed, Peko’s eyes had gained a rather strange quality to them; blazing red fires flickered in her eyes, intensifying the more she glared at the two of them. Seeing the fires instilled a deep fear in Hajime’s heart; even if this was the first time he had seen them, he knew instantly what they were. Peko was fully resolving herself to throw away any pretense of mercy when dealing with them both. She was fully intending on killing them both, which… which was absolutely terrifying. Hajime hadn’t ever thought he would be subject to something so terrifying. When you’re in Peko’s sights and she’s in such a state… it’s best to pray she’ll eliminate you quickly.

“Hey… Hey, Akane, I think we might need to get out… of here...?” Hajime looked to his friend, hoping to be able to run away, but something in Akane’s expression… soothed him, actually…

...Akane’s eyes, in a stark contrast to Peko’s, didn’t have any fires in them. Instead, a yellow glow radiated around her eyes, with what seemed to be lightning going off of them as she got ready to fight. Hajime saw this expression a few times before, such as when they first fought, so he knew exactly what this was. Peko might have had killing intent, but Akane’s fighting spirit could outclass any enemy that came their way. Seeing Akane’s resolve made Hajime feel confident as well. What did Hajime have to worry about? Both he and Akane had Stands, while Peko only had a sword! They could take on anything that came their way! Hajime summoned 「Lean on Me」, Akane doing the same with 「Scarface」 as they began to steel themselves for the fight ahead.

“...It’s rather odd.” Peko mused, the corners of her lips twitching upwards as she looked at them. “Despite knowing that my talent with a sword cannot be paralleled, you still wish to fight me.”

Akane scoffed, smashing her fists together. “I’m not gonna back down when you keep talking a big game! I’ll give you one chance to back off before we face each other down!”

The swordswoman smiled, before narrowing her gaze and pointing her sword towards the both of them. “Hmph! **Your death is all but guaranteed! Farewell, Hajime Hinata, Akane Owari!”**

Akane roared, clenching her fist as she yelled to the skies. 

**“YOU WERE DEAD FROM THE MOMENT YOU WALKED IN HERE, PEKO PEKOYAMA!”**

All three of them locked in place, Akane, Hajime, and Peko waited for one or the other to make the first move. As soon as someone started the fight, all hell would break loose, and neither of them were the type to take any prisoners. Sheer speed and strength versus the agility of a sword…

...It seemed that Hajime and Akane had their work cut out for them.

**ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Kokichi's "Stand" is based off of the Meghan Trainor song. While I am aware that the song is about someone cheating on the singer, I... must admit that it fits frighteningly well with Kokichi in relation to this story I've got cooked up.
> 
> "I gave you bass, you gave me sweet talk  
Saying how I'm your number one  
But I know you lie  
'Cause your lips are moving  
Baby don't you know I'm done"
> 
> It's a very risky move, struggling to not use the yet-unamed JoJolion Dangerous Pursuit Stand for this particular chapter. Alas, as my patience is short and I really don't want to keep you all waiting until March for knowledge on what the Stand does and/or is called, I have to scrap that idea.


	6. Fearless Warrior Peko Pekoyama! ① / Born to be Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wins in a fight? Peko Pekoyama—a woman with frightening skill when it comes to the blade—or two punk kids with supernatural ghosts on their side?
> 
> We're about to find out.

Silence.

Hajime had never experienced a silence so deafening before.

Maybe it was suicidal attempting to fight someone like Peko Pekoyama. Maybe this was all just a dream that Hajime was waiting to wake up from. Maybe—just maybe—Kokichi’s words about only having three days left to solve everything was just another lie after all.   
  
But, at this moment, Hajime couldn’t care less about that. Right here, right now, they were going to fight against Peko—the Ultimate Swordswoman.

Now, it should be said before we continue that Hajime and Akane have never used their Stands for a fight before—well, apart from one time where they both fought each other—so this sort of situation is completely new to them. Akane is the type of person to rush in blindly without thinking, but they learnt from the fight in the past that a damage done to a stand will reflect on the user. Peko’s ability with her sword was uncontestable. What would happen if she sliced either one of their Stands into pieces? Surely, she wouldn’t go far enough to kill them, would she…?

The battle would begin as soon as someone made the first move. Peko’s ability with the sword made her a formidable opponent, but the truth was that she was still human, after all. All that they had to do was to just catch her when she didn’t expect it! To wait for an opening, and strike her where it hurts most! That was the objective. It wasn’t about endurance or strength; it was about who let their guard down first. 

Peko let out a bemused chuckle, breaking the silence that had fallen upon the room. “Perhaps I should make your deaths swift. There’s enough body bags in the hospital to accomodate for you both.”

Akane scoffed, sizing Peko up with a predatory gaze. “I’d like to see you try. You ain’t got what it takes to take down  _ THE _ Akane Owari.”

“Your confidence is either boldly daring or stupidly ignorant. The reality is this.” Peko tightened the grip on her sword. “You  **‘never use your fists in a swordfight’,** Akane. What do you think would happen if I were to strike down and hit your arms? They would come clean off.”

Akane stayed silent, prompting Peko to continue. Hajime fidgeted nervously, his Stand barely moving.

“It takes one single well-placed strike to hit the bone and completely take your arm off your socket. Do you still want to resist your inevitable demise, Akane? I, for one, am completely ready to see how far we can take this.”

Oddly enough, Akane still remained silent, instead clenching her fists. Peko was mildly annoyed to see the gymnast smirk. Was something funny? Her grip on her katana tightened until her knuckles were a stark white. Something about Akane not even responding to her witty banter was just annoying. Silence, again, fell over the room. It seemed as if the world was at a standstill. The three inhabitants of the room refused to budge even an inch, locked in place lest one of them make the wrong move—   
  
The katana whipped out with lightning speed, coming down overhead onto Akane before either of them had time to react. It nearly would have split her skull in half had it not been for the timely intervention of 「Scarface」, which blocked the hit through using both arms crossed in an X-position to divide force from the blow into both arms. Although this still took a lot out of Akane, this brief opening allowed her to push back against Peko by swiftly kicking her in the stomach and using 「Scarface」's ability to double the power put into that kick. The resulting blow sent Peko flying across the room. 

Looking back to Hajime, Akane nodded, before pushing her leg back and doing a series of masterful cartwheels and frontflips to get close to Peko and land a few blows on her. The gymnast, using 「Scarface」 as leverage to keep her up in the air, continued to trade blows with Peko whilst swiftly dodging the katana swings. Blood from shallow and deep cuts alike from the katana slashing Akane’s legs and upper shoulder region littered Akane’s body, though it would be far from enough to down her. Peko fought back with considerable tenacity—despite her relatively smaller body weight in comparison to Akane, her attacks were swift and dealt heavy damage whenever they connected with Akane.

Hajime himself was stuck watching with awe, still fiddling around with something within his chest pocket. There was something that Hajime knew that Peko wasn’t able to prepare for, but getting the perfect opportunity to strike her was crucial to turning the tides in their favour. Akane might have been a good fighter, but what she didn’t have was a plan. A plan was pivotal to making sure an opponent was beat, after all.

The endurance of Peko and Akane could last the whole of the day if they had to fight like this. With each blow landed onto Peko’s body, the swordswoman felt a considerable amount of pain; in Akane’s case, the katana’s slashes did far more than enough to wind her down bit by bit. A single lapse in concentration was all it took for Akane’s last punch to miss, leading to Peko using this opportunity to push her back with her elbow. Coughing heavily, Akane stumbled backwards with her arm still raised in a blocking position. Her other arm was cradled around her stomach. The adrenaline rush was not enough to save her from the oncoming wave of pain, causing her to grit her teeth.   
  
Peko got to her feet, readjusting her glasses as she looked up to the gymnast. Though Peko looked worse for wear, it was almost miraculous how her glasses remained unscathed despite being roughed up considerably. With her feet firmly planted on the ground, Peko pointed her katana at Akane, looking quite pleased at this development. “What did you think was going to happen? I’ve been trained to fight all my life. You, on the other hand—” Peko put the tip of the blade to Akane’s chin, tilting her head upwards. “You think you can take on someone like me and win a fight without losing? I already told you, Akane.” Peko smiled. “You  **‘never use your fists in a swordfight’.** That’s the reason why you’re going to lose. No… You’ve already lost.”

Akane began to laugh. The sheer audacity in laughing when Peko could simply thrust and end Akane’s laugh was enough to stun the swordswoman, who narrowed her eyes in annoyance.    
  
“Is something amusing? You do realise that I have full intentions of ending your life? I don’t care what Monomi says. Her rules hold no power over myself and the young master.”

“You think this fight is over? What, are you kiddin’?” Akane spat out, opening one eye as she looked down unto Peko. Peko was mildly enraged hearing her defiance, pushing the blade until it made a slight indent into her skin—but not enough to pierce and draw blood. Akane continued on. “If ya think I’d just come unprepared, maybe  _ you’re _ the one that’s gonna lose. Akane Owari never comes without always havin’ a Plan B!”   
  
Peko tried to not show how Akane’s words affected her, but the slight baring of her teeth was enough to amuse the gymnast. “And what, pray tell,  _ is _ this ‘Plan B’? You’re not the kind of person to improvise.”

“That’s what you think! Let me just say this: when you learn from the best of the best,  **anything is possible!” ** Akane laughed, before doing the unthinkable. With her incredible flexibility, Akane bent backwards, doing a limbo-like position as she effortlessly slipped beneath the blade whilst staying on the tip of her toes. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, she pointed towards the person in the room that they had both ignored until this point: Hajime Hinata.   
  
**“HIT IT, HAJIME!”**

“GOT IT!”   
  
Peko’s eyes widened. “Impossible—!”   
  
** _FWIP—CRACK!_ **

It was almost like the wind was knocked out of Peko. The last thing the swordswoman felt before a hollow pain spread throughout the left of her torso was an object she couldn’t quite make out. The sound that reverberated around the room once it struck her was loud enough to be heard from outside. Whatever that object was, it was small, and packed one hell of a punch. Akane herself had moved away from Peko—who slumped over onto the wall as she clutched her torso in pain—towards Hajime, who looked quite pleased with himself as he fist bumped Akane.

“Not bad, Hajime!” Akane quipped. “I’m glad I caught onto what you were doing and got out the way in time!”   
  
Hajime laughed. “You weren’t half bad yourself, you know. That pose you did before I got Peko was priceless.”

Whilst they were enjoying their little bout of compliments, Peko looked up, before growling to Hajime with a look of barely-restrained rage on her face. Though her glasses weren’t broken, it sure felt like her ribs were. Akane’s resistance to pain was a trait that Peko could only wish she shared, venom dripping from her words as she looked up to him.

“What… What did you do…?”   


Hajime turned around to Peko, allowing the swordswoman to see what it was that struck her. Her brow furrowed, she audibly growled when she noticed one very revealing detail on Hajime’s shirt.   
  
He spoke, putting his hand beneath his chest pocket. Tattered to bits with a great hole in it, two Monocoins jangled, the bear-like insignia almost mocking Peko as Hajime smiled knowingly. “Did you know that I was holding four Monocoins before I came to the restaurant? One is currently lost at the beach, meaning I had three left when I entered this place. Now, how about we do a bit of math?

“Suppose that I’ve got four coins. If there are two coins in my pocket right now, and one of them is at the beach,  **then where do you suppose the other coin is?”**

Peko looked downwards, seeing a single Monocoin laying flat on the floor. Indeed, it must have been the object that struck her, because there’s no way it could have been anything else. Feeling the wound on her body, it hurt whenever she applied pressure on it—a bruise, it must have been. Looking up to Hajime, she scowled, before asking a question that made Akane and Hajime’s early victory come to a quick and sudden end.   


**“You used a Stand to hit me, didn’t you?”**

“...!”

Hajime and Akane’s eyes widened, only furthering to confirm Peko’s suspicions. Taking her katana and jutting the blade into the ground, Peko leaned onto the guard, using it to prop herself up until she got to her feet. Cradling her stomach in an attempt to relieve herself of pain, she looked up to the both of them, revelling in their shock as she pressed onwards.

“Before you ask… I don’t have a Stand. The truth is that  **I only know of their existence because Fuyuhiko has one.** The name was his idea. But, of course, I don’t need to see your Stands to understand the logistics behind your fighting styles.”

“What… What the hell?!  _ I  _ thought of that name myself!” Akane sputtered, raising her fists. “What do you mean ‘Fuyuhiko has one’?! If he’s got one, then how come he sent you to fight us instead of getting us himself?”

Peko scoffed. “Ah, yes. Because when it comes to disposing of people, it’s best to show off one’s Stand in public. I’m sure that will end very well—”   
  
** _FWIP—CRACK!_ **

Peko was sent flying back into the wall again, although regaining her balance despite Hajime having shot her with another coin. Akane looked at him incredulously, before he glanced back and shrugged.   
  
“What? It’s not like she’s going to let us walk away alive. We should at least knock her out.”   
  


**“It’s a shame you’ll never get the chance.”**

With blindingly-fast speed, Hajime and Akane were pushed towards the south exit of the restaurant, where the staircase was. The duo were sent a few steps downward, only barely catching their balance thanks to 「Lean on Me」 supporting both of their weights. Akane—who was in front of Hajime—looked up towards Peko, who had caught her breath and was fully intent on now making sure that they didn’t walk away from this alive. 

In Peko’s hand, much to Hajime’s surprise, were the two coins that he had shot at her earlier. The coins were between Peko’s fingers with the bear insignia facing towards them both. With a murderous glint in her eyes, Peko threw the two coins in the air, before piercing them with her sword and skewering them just a few centimeters away from each other. Peko glowered onto them both, before boldly declaring aloud as she raised her katana up high.

“Perhaps you’d like to make a bet! Before the day ends, I will have you both hung up in the young master’s room! He won’t need to order me to do that when challenging me is suicide in of itself!”

Despite the intensity of Peko’s words, Akane only began to sweat as she tilted her head in Hajime’s direction, eyes not leaving Peko’s own as she made an observation regarding something rather peculiar about her appearance. “Hey… Hey, Hajime? You see what I’m seeing, right?”   
  
Hajime nodded. “I know what you’re talking about. I almost thought I was seeing things at first, but what’s happening right now is real!”  
  
Both of them readied their stances, 「Scarface」 moving in front of Akane as it made the motions towards grabbing Peko’s sword. Once Peko swung it downwards, Akane and 「Scarface」 held onto the blade, before vaulting up and over the swordswoman so they could attack on both fronts. Hajime was in front of Peko, 「Lean on Me」 appearing behind him as its intangibility allowed it to reach within Hajime and position its hands behind the last coin if it needed to fire it. 

The next few minutes were total chaos. Silver met brown and white as Peko’s katana continued to slice into both Akane and Hajime’s skin and shirt respectively. The fear from such wanton destruction did well enough to make Hajime’s heart start beating from exhilaration. Whilst Peko’s hits were much like a thousand cuts with each swing of her sword, all that they needed was for Peko to leave an opening when she least expected it. 

The swordswoman was a total beast to behold in battle. Kicking off of Hajime’s chest to push him further down the stairs, Peko did a backflip to land onto Akane’s shoulders and held her Katana backhanded, before plunging the sword towards Akane’s chest. Hajime could barely react, only reaching out to Akane and shouting as loud as he possibly can.

“「Lean on Me」!”

Although Hajime’s human reflexes wouldn’t have been able to bridge the gap between himself and the gymnast, his Stand would be able to. 「Lean on Me」 surged forward and gripped onto the katana, before forcing it to the side and delivering a swift punch into Peko’s torso. Whilst it threw Peko back a little bit and allowed Akane a moment to get away, Peko simply aligned her feet in mid-air to the step she was going to land on, and sprung as soon as she put her weight onto it towards the duo. Unable to escape from her assault, the three of them tumbled down the stairs, entering a scuffle that ended as soon as they hit the ground.

The resulting collision sent Hajime and Akane careening right to the edge of the pool, the two of them groaning as they groggily got to their feet, looking as if they had gone through Hell and back. Peko, on the other hand—while looking frankly like a truck had hit her—simply walked up towards the both of them. With her sword drawn, she pointed it towards them both, adjusting her glasses whilst preparing her last attack.

“Now, then… where were we?”   
  
“Shit. This isn’t good.” Akane muttered, looking towards Peko. Frankly, Hajime was inclined to agree. Peko’s eyes were a far cry from the usual gentle ones that the two of them had been accustomed to.

  
  
After all, when someone’s eyes are in a maddening spiral beyond the likes of which Hajime had never seen before, you’d be disturbed as well. Almost as if… Almost as if Peko had fallen into despair.

**ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When one writes a JoJo fanfic, do they ever think about opening songs or ending songs for their fanfiction? I, myself, have been toying with the idea lately, and whilst I'll never have the privilege of seeing Akane and Hajime do JoJo poses, I do admit imagining it is rather self-indulgent. For me? I've decided upon these songs.
> 
> Opening - Crazy my Beat (Coda)  
Ending - Mysterious Girl (Peter Andre)
> 
> Maybe these songs will change over the course of the story. I've had a different idea for an ending, but I'm saving that for a hypothetical continuation of this JoJo idea I've been thinking about.


	7. Fearless Warrior Peko Pekoyama! ② / Born to be Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling fight between a swordswoman, a gymnast, and a remarkably disinteresting boy comes to an end. The time limit of exactly three days begins.

Peko wasn’t going to leave them alive. That much, Hajime was certain of.

He and Akane hadn’t figured that speaking to Fuyuhiko would be so insurmountably difficult. The truth was simple: getting to him would be far from a cakewalk if Peko was willing to kill them just because of his orders. Akane herself was sweating slightly, having been put through hell once Peko unleashed what could accurately be described as a thousand cuts upon her. Not enough to kill her, but enough to make it a challenge to fight at her full strength. The swordswoman herself was dragging her katana on the ground; the resulting sound was more or less a death rattle for the duo, who weren’t prepared to fight even two-on-one in this state.

Combined with the unmistakable dark swirl in her eyes, Peko’s appearance gave the menacing effect of looking truly unhinged. At that moment, Hajime saw her as a sophisticated assassin truly intent on killing them both.  
  
Akane cast a glance towards Hajime as Peko advanced towards them both, asking him a simple question.

“Alright, Hajime. You got a plan for this?”

Hajime blanched, before snapping his head towards Akane in a hurried tone. “W-What are you talking about? Why would I have a plan at a time like this?!”

“Because you’re the smart one. Duh.” Akane snorted. “Do you at least have any cool one-liners you’re gonna say before we whoop her ass?”

“A cool one-liner—what, like James Bond in all those movies of his?”   
  
“Yeah, like that guy. You’re not gonna let her kill us without going out with a bang, right?” Akane smiled. Hajime was baffled that Akane still had something worth smiling about when Peko was still coming their way, but her reckless overconfidence was infectious. “Come on. We’ve got a bit more fight left in us, and you’ve still got **one last shot** before all hope is lost!”

Hajime nodded. Peko’s katana continued its death rattle, stopping a mere few inches away from the both of them before lifting up her blade and putting it just a miniscule distance away from Hajime’s nose. Just one sharp turn of her hand and he would promptly bear witness to pain unimaginable on a human scale. With a sharp jeer, Peko had a smile of her own, though sinister in intentions.

“For managing to get me twice with those coins of yours, I will grant you the honour of being the first one I cut down before I pursue Akane.” Peko sneered. “Any last words, Hajime Hinata? I’ll be sure to engrave them on your tombstone.”  
  
Hajime, thinking quickly, let out one hell of a zinger to impress Akane. “Yeah… You’re just _ too slow, Peko!” _

Though Peko’s reflexes were fast, Hajime’s Stand was even faster. Before Peko could even touch a hair on Hajime’s body, 「Lean on Me」 intercepted her attack and drove a single fist into the right side of Peko’s body. Practically crumpling like a piece of paper, Peko was sent flying to the side onto the ground, getting scuffed up and even cracking her glasses in the process. Though she got to her feet and swung her sword in a wide arc in order to land a hit on him, Hajime simply sent his Stand in an upwards arc, sifting through the ground to punch her in the stomach again; intangibility was useful for an ability like his.

Clutching her stomach and doubling over in pain, Peko let out a groan; Hajime’s swift attacks were far out of Peko’s league for a long shot. Wiping his forehead clean of any sweat, Hajime blew a few strands of hair out of the way of his vision, before looking down upon the swordswoman and speaking.

“You know, Peko, I was honestly afraid of your ability with the sword. I mean, I still am, but I came to realise something, you know?”

Peko grunted, before looking up and staring with pure rage at Hajime. That despairful look in her eyes still frightened him, but both his and Akane’s desire to get to the bottom of this situation was more important than anything else. Taking her silence as a cue to continue, Hajime put a hand to his chin.

“While it’s true you’ve got the ability to swing that katana of yours around, and it’s true you’re well-adept with protecting people you care about… I was so afraid that you’d hurt me that I kinda held back. You’re still a friend of mine, after all, and I wouldn’t want to hurt any of them.”  
  
“Get to the point.” Peko spat out, still preparing herself to use the sword.

“The point is… You might have a sword, but me and Akane have _ Stands. _ And, since I’m the fastest out of the two of us, I’m kinda wanting to test something out myself. Trying to kill both me and her isn’t something we can just let slide, after all.”   
  
Peko paused, before looking up at Hajime with wide eyes. “Test… something out? What on earth are you talking about?”   
  


“Simple. We’re gonna see how many strikes I can hit on you in under fifteen seconds.”  
  


Though Peko’s shock was visible on her face, Hajime looked back, before performing an extravagant pose of his own; pointing towards her, 「Lean on Me」 began to sink into the ground, making the motions to unleash a flurry of punches onto the swordswoman with little hesitation. Calling out to her, a small smile was on Hajime’s face.

“Hey, Akane! You any good at counting?”

Akane smirked, before running a thumb beneath her nose. “Counting numbers? None past the triple digits, but I’m _ mean _ at addition!”   
  
“Alright! Then count THIS!”   
  
In a blink of an eye, 「Lean on Me」 appeared from beneath the ground, landing an abundant amount of strikes upon the swordswoman, who was taking them with full force. Hajime shouted with each punch that connected with Peko, a fiery determination burning within his eyes.

** _“SORERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERERE—!”_ **

Peko could feel little else but a collective force punching into her again and again, striking her in places she had little time to prepare for. The rate at which she was struck was unfathomable to a mere human; speeds at which was invisible to the human eye. As far as Peko was concerned, she literally could not see what was hitting her, and that wasn’t because each punch felt like a truck struck into her and caused her to wince throughout the short period of time she was being hit into.

「Lean on Me」 continued its flurry of fists without abandon. Such exceptional speeds meant that even if she tried, Peko wouldn’t be able to dodge even one of the punches. It was after what felt like eternity that the final punch was delivered, slugging her right in the stomach.

** _“SORE WA CHIGAU ZO!”_ **

With that last strike, Peko was sent careening through the sky and into the ground, landing into an unruly heap. If it hadn’t been for her laboured, shaky breathing, Hajime would have almost been afraid that he had killed her. Luckily enough (or unluckily based on how much pain he had inflicted on her), Peko was merely put out of commission for now.

With that done, 「Lean on Me」 retreated back into its user, who ran his hands through his hair as he looked back to his companion.  
  
“Tell me, Akane! How good was that?”

Akane, who had been running her eyes over her fingers for the past moments, held them up to Hajime with a dumb grin on her face. “I did a lot of adding, but after counting a lot of hundreds, we got to… a total number of three hundred and thirteen thousand ‘n eighty punches!” She then put a finger to her chin. “Er… give or take a few, that is.”

Hajime nodded, before doing a bit of calculations in his head. “And that entire combo lasted about 15 seconds, which means that the amount of punches per second was…”

As soon as they both made the connection—Akane knew a bit of math herself!—their eyes widened in excitement, bumping their fists together before embracing each other with a childlike glee in their eyes.

** _“Twenty thousand eight hundred and seventy-two punches per second! HELL YEAH!”_ **

Akane smirked, before shoving Hajime playfully. “Still slacking, though. I remember when you pushed 330,000 in under ten seconds.”

“Doesn’t mean that wasn’t cool, though!” Hajime harrumphed, shoving her back.

Whilst they continued to celebrate this brand new field of speed never before seen, Peko—in all of her current agony—had gotten to her knees, leaning backwards as she used her sword as a support for her. With a half-glazed look in her eyes, pure fury and hatred radiated from her body as she snarled. 

_ “Those good for nothing buffoons! Those idiots, those _ ** _godforsaken twits!”_ ** Peko thought, gazing down unto them both. If looks could kill, both Hajime and Akane would be killed before they hit the floor. _ “For disgracing my master… for making a fool out of me… I’ll kill you! Death! Death! Death and despair!” _ Powered by surefire determination and a dark, fiery gaze in her eyes, Peko propped herself up, barely getting to her feet as she gnashed her teeth and pointed her katana at them. _ “I’ll kill you! And if I don’t kill you, the young master certainly will!” _

What pissed Peko off the most is that Hajime and Akane had practically ignored her, instead deciding to just screw around over some arbitrary speed limit. Getting to her feet and ignoring the sharp sparks of pain running up and down her legs and back, Peko—with as much strength as she could muster—held up her katana, before putting her all into one last attack.  
  
** _“RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH—!”_ **   
  
Sharply, a voice cut through the air, stopping Peko mid-thrust.

“HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!”  
  


A voice like that was sure to turn heads! With disbelief etched on their faces, the trio turned their heads to look at the newcomer. Peko herself spoke first, sputtering with… a slight blush on her face from surprise.

“Y… Y-Young master!”

Yes, indeed—it was Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, looking positively frustrated with what was in front of him. With such a cool air surrounding him, it would be hard not to take notice of the miniature gangster. Sauntering from the entrance to the hotel grounds, Fuyuhiko squinted, looking the three of them up and down; his light olive eyes were enough to shut them all up. Before he could open his mouth, Peko had already bent down and lowered her head in her master’s presence. Her blubbering was practically inelegant. 

“M-Master, I apologise for being unable to dispose of them yet! I guarantee you, I’ll have their heads in due time if you forgive me—”  
  


“Peko, relax.”  
  
With a soft smile, Fuyuhiko placed his hand on the swordswoman’s shoulder, nodding once.  
  
“You got nothin’ to worry about. Hell, you worked damn hard, so why don’t you go rest up? I’ve got these punks right where I want ‘em, so I’ll take the rest from here.”   
  
Peko looked up and stared into Fuyuhiko’s eyes, looking genuinely vulnerable in that moment. Truly, nothing had unnerved Akane and Hajime more than seeing someone fully intent on killing them mere moments ago. With teary eyes, Peko blinked once and twice, before croaking out in a voice that expressed inhuman amounts of gratitude.

  
“You… You really mean it?”   
  
Fuyuhiko nodded once more. “I promise, Peko. You go do your thing.  I’ll rip these bastards into pieces, you can be sure of that. ”    
  
“Thank you… Thank you, young master! I promise I’ll make it up to you!”

Without any hesitation, Peko bolted up to her feet, and madly dashed towards her cabin. Whilst Peko might have fallen heads over heels for Fuyuhiko again, the duo she had been tending to was less than pleased to see the young yakuza heir see them after such a blood-pumping fight. Though he approached with a casual smile on his face, Akane merely punched her fist into her hand, planning on extorting information out of him by force. Hajime didn’t look pleased too much, either, based off of how he glared at Fuyuhiko with as much venom as Akane did.

  
Akane snorted. “Alright, wise guy. Should I punch you with my left fist, or my right fist?”  
  
“Whichever one doesn’t hurt, obviously.” Fuyuhiko hummed. “It’s not like you’re gonna be able to hit me.”

“We’ll see who’s the judge of that!” Akane threw forward her right fist, intending on connecting it with Fuyuhiko’s chest. Much to her surprise, however, she ended up connecting with nothing when the gangster seemingly just stepped to the left before she even knew it. 

Fuyuhiko yawned. “Is that all you got?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” 

Akane roared, throwing her own flurry of fists at Fuyuhiko—and yet with each one she threw, Fuyuhiko managed to dodge them all. It was on the thirty-third punch that Akane stopped at last, before staring with enough fury to burn a hole into his soul. She grunted, before returning to her relaxed stance and sneering onto him.  
  


“Oh, wait… Let me guess. You’re not Fuyuhiko at all, are you, Kokichi?”

  
Hajime closed his eyes.   
  
“It couldn’t have been Fuyuhiko… There’s no reason he’d send Peko out to get us and then see us later. It’s you, Kokichi.”   
  
Poking out his tongue, Kokichi melded back into his “true form” and ditched his Fuyuhiko disguise as he looked down onto the both of them. “Jeez, guys.” Kokichi groaned. “Took you way longer to tell I was an alien, but seconds to figure out I wasn’t him? What’s the hold-up there?”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Trying to fool people like us is just boring…”

“Just _ fun, _ you mean. Easy, too, with a sack of bricks-for-brains like Akane.” Kokichi snickered, whilst Akane raised her fist.   
  
Continuing on, Hajime looked down unto him. “So you can turn into other people too? It’d make sense, given your ability to copy voices.”

“Yup!” Kokichi clicked his tongue, pointing finger guns at Hajime—with Fuyuhiko’s olive eyes, just to convince him that he was right. “My ability means I can pretend to be anybody that I want to be. Voice, appearance—you name it, I can do it. There’s only oooone little itty-bitty drawback, but it’s pretty much inconsequential.”

“And that would be?”  
  
Kokichi sighs, before putting a hand to his cheek. “I gotta hear people say **at least one hundred words** before it works. Fuyuhiko might have been a very small talker, but you’d be surprised on how many recordings of his voice Peko keeps in her cabin.”   
  
“...You know, I’m not gonna ask how you know that.” Hajime crosses his arms, closing his eyes. “The only problem is that we have no clue as to how we’re gonna get Fuyuhiko. It’s not like he’s gonna come easily if we continue to chase him like this.”   
  
Akane, piping up at last, simply pounded her fist on her chest. “Then we just have to make him an offer he can’t refuse! We’ve already got a few good ideas on how to con people, right, Hajime?”

Memories of their time on Jabberwock Island regarding Mahiru’s camera and pictures of Kazuichi resurfaced in their minds, making Hajime nod in agreement. “You’ve got it, Akane. We’ll just have to get a bit creative… and I think I might have an idea as to how we’re going to do that.” Yawning, Hajime rubbed drearily at his eyes, before looking up to the sky. This little scuffle of theirs ended up taking them well into the afternoon. “Though… we’ll have to do it tomorrow. The time limit probably starts soon, and we don’t have time to screw around.”

Kokichi laughs, a devious smirk on his face. “You’d be right about that! I’m generous, though, so let me tell you this.” Kokichi looks from side to side, before leaning in and whispering. “If you want to get him where it hurts… go for his pride. He’s not gonna take it well if you beat him at something.”  
  
“Got it.” Hajime nodded, before looking to Akane. “You ready to rest up for tomorrow? We can get supplies, because something tells me that just parlor tricks alone aren’t going to do much good against someone like Fuyuhiko.” 

Akane scoffed, flicking her head up as she looked at the sky. “Ready? Dude, Fuyuhiko’s not nearly as smart as you are. We get the stuff tomorrow, and then we can go nuts and trick him.” She paused, before looking to Kokichi. “That’s what you wanted, right? Just to trick him?”  
  
Kokichi yawned. “Yep. Just gotta beat him at something and stop living in that fantasy world of his.” 

Hajime quirked an eyebrow. “Fantasy world? What are you talking—?”

“OKAYI’VESAIDENOUGHIT’STIMEFORMETOGONOWBYEBYEFRIENDS!”

Before Hajime could ask any further questions, Kokichi vanished by falling backwards into the pool and seemingly disappearing. Though such an act like that would be considered a miracle, you tend to not exactly care much about the unnatural after nearly being killed by a swordswoman. With a sigh, Hajime slightly smiled, before looking to Akane.  
  
“...Get to the market at seven?”   
  
Akane smiled. “Get to the market at seven.”   
  
With their goodbyes said, the duo parted, returning to their respective cabins as they prepared for the three days ahead of them. Hajime had already begun to plan potential ways to make sure they could trick Fuyuhiko and get him out of his ‘fantasy world’, even if Kokichi’s objective was simply too abstract for him to make a concrete plan. Nevertheless, there was no doubt that things would prove interesting soon enough.

However, one thing that they had failed to notice was that a certain swordswoman had been eavesdropping on them both.

Peko, having already retreated to her cabin, began to rest herself with her katana laid bare beside her. Thoughts ran quickly through her head as she calmed herself down, upset over hearing what the three of them had planned with her young master. Taking in a deep, deep breath, Peko opened her eyes, before looking in the mirror and thinking aloud.

“So they think they can lay a hand on my master? Fools… The lot of them. I could tell without even exerting any brain power that the Fuyuhiko I saw was a fake. All I have to do is exterminate the three of them, and then me and my beloved young master can live together forever…~”

With a soft smile on her face, her eyes were filled with despair and a bloodthirsty vengeance far beyond the likes of which anyone would have prepared for.

**ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...**


	8. The First Day Begins! / Don’t Stop 'Til You Get Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day begins, and it all immediately goes to Hell in a handbasket thanks to Fuyuhiko having a bit of help on his side.

Waking up bright and early, Hajime had to admit that it was quite easy for him to forget he had a job to do this morning.

It was five in the morning. There was little time he had to waste; today marked the preparations for the three days before his friends stayed insane forever. Brushing his teeth, the boy continued his daily preparations. He combed his hair, trying to push down that weird massive one that stuck up all the time (with no success); he buttoned up his white shirt and adjusted his green tie; he practiced looking cool in the mirror; and it was just before 5:10 AM before he left at last with the intent of getting breakfast. The cool morning air was enough to relax him, even if the time limit was getting to be a bit much on him.

Breakfast itself was… lackluster. Due to everyone being asleep so early—only himself, Akane, and Nekomaru ever decided to wake up at such a time—not to mention Teruteru’s refusal to make something delicious, Hajime had to fix himself a meal up quickly. What could be any more filling than two slices of lightly buttered toast and a large glass of orange juice? Scarfing the meal down with seldom hesitation, Hajime washed up the dishes, before leaving as quickly as he came. It was 5:25AM by the time he stepped foot out of the restaurant.

The trip to the market they were going to? Relatively quick. A simple one-hour walk due to Hajime taking his sweet time in getting there. The scenery was beautiful, the sky was beginning to lighten—it was all Hajime had wanted and more. Before he knew it, he was already standing in front of Rocketpunch Market’s entrance, staring blankly at the doors with little expectations. Part of him was on autopilot; if it weren’t for the daunting task ahead of him, he would almost have assumed it was merely a normal day.   
  
6:25 AM. Damn. The store opens at 7:00 on the dot. Why on such a specific time when no one even works there is a mystery not even Hajime knows the answer to. 

One hour and thirty minutes to pass the time… What should Hajime do? Sitting down on the curb, he began to think. Maybe he could play that little game he does where he imagines himself surfing on the waves on the beach. Or, perhaps, he could start improvising a plan to beat Fuyuhiko without any extra exertion? Oh, yes, he could see it now. The plan was simple: to snap one out of their monotony, a good prank is needed. Maybe the classic water bucket on the door trick could make Fuyuhiko laugh a little—or something more physical like throwing a banana peel on the floor. Kokichi probably only wanted Fuyuhiko to snap out of something—a fantasy world or whatever—so all he has to do is beat him at something. To do that, he’s going to need rope, some buckets, maybe a little bit more coffee because he’s getting real tired real fast—   
  


“Why, hello, there. Hajime, I didn’t think you would end up arriving up at the same time as I would.”   
  
“...!”

Whipping his head back, Hajime was truly surprised to see one of his other friends here. Rubbing his eyes free of any sleep, Hajime blinked once, twice,  _ thrice _ before looking truly disappointed at what he saw.

“...Nagito… so you’ve gone crazy, too…”

Nagito Komaeda—the Ultimate Lucky Student—simply sauntered over to Hajime and sat right near him on the curb. There was no mistake; his eyes, much like Peko’s, were swirling and filled with despair. Despite this, however, it didn’t seem like Nagito was planning on hurting Hajime—an idea that Hajime had not been expecting, only starting to react before Nagito gripped onto Hajime’s arm.   
  
“Relax, Hajime. You can trust me; I’m not going to hurt you.”

Hajime, gulping, sat down by Nagito. The two of them began to watch the sun rise. Brilliant rays of yellow broke through the purple, red, and orange sky. Each spark of light almost gave Hajime just a bit more hope that everything was going to work itself out. A little sliver of the sun peeked over the horizon before Nagito spoke, face turning just a little bit slightly as he softly murmured and closed his eyes.   
  
“...We didn’t meet here by chance. I don’t believe we did, at least.” He opened one of his eyes, looking Hajime’s way. “Do you know why we’re all acting like this? I… have the sensation of wanting to cause despair. For the sake of a greater hope, of course, but this change is  _ still _ unnerving, wouldn’t you agree?”   


Hajime, although having not heard Nagito mention things like despair and hope in such a context up until this point, somehow understood what he had meant. It was rather odd how casually Hajime responded, looking still towards the horizon. “If you’re willing to believe it… an alien came by just a couple of days ago.”

Nagito quirked an eyebrow. “An alien?”   
  
“Mhm.” Hajime chuckled. “His name is Kokichi Oma. Or, well, that’s his name rendered in our language, at least.”

Though with confusion at first, Nagito merely laughed in turn, looking back to the rising sun. “So… this ‘Kokichi Oma’ is the reason we’re all acting odd?”

“You’d be right about that. Supposedly, everyone’s gonna stay like this forever unless me and Akane finish something he wants us to do.” Scoffing, he looked towards the other boy. “Honestly, I’m still recoiling from the absurdity of it all. An alien comes from outer space, wants me to do his errands… and if I don’t do it, he’s gonna leave you all stuck like this forever.”

Nagito hummed. “I admit, that does sound a bit stressful. Is there any way that I can help?” The luckster merely smiled in response to Hajime’s baffled look. “I might be currently feeling despair, but you and Akane are the hope that I’m looking for, aren’t I? You just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it for you.”

Hajime blinked, before putting a finger to his chin. “I… need you to be there for me when I need it the most. You’ll know when I see Fuyuhiko in person.”   
  
“Oh? So it has to do with the Ultimate Yakuza, does it?” Nagito hummed once more. Hajime had to admit it was kind of unnerving how he was kind of acting like Kokichi while in this state. Nonetheless, Nagito nodded, before closing his eyes. “Of course I’d love to help you. It’s what friends do for each other, okay? You’ll see me when your plan comes into motion.”   
  
This detail caused Hajime’s attention to be piqued, looking Nagito’s way. “Huh? What are you talking about?”   
  
Nagito said little else, only opening one eye and only offering a few vague words of clarification. “Let’s just say… I’ll be there when you need me most.”

“Huh? Nagito, what are you talking about—?”

  
“Yo! What’s the hold up, man? You feelin’ alright?!”   
  
Akane’s brash voice caused the young man to blink for a second, before his eyes darted towards Akane and he looked towards her. He smiled. Thank goodness that he can talk to another friend! He waved her over, glad that this little conversation can at least turn into a party. “Hey, Akane!” Hajime laughed, reaching out to fist-bump her—which she so happily obliged. “Sorry, I was busy talking to Nagito. He said he’d be happy to help us with our plan for Fuyuhiko!”

The gymnast, however, merely quirked an eyebrow in response to his declaration. “Uh… Hajime? What are you talking about?”   
  
The young man looked confused for a moment. “Huh?”   
  
“There’s… nobody there, you know. You were talkin’ to thin air the whole time.”   


“No, that’s wrong! He was right here, right next to me—” 

Hajime then looked to the side, intending on speaking to Nagito again, but Akane’s words were true. Nagito had seemingly disappeared without a trace. No sign of him walking down the road, nor even footsteps that sounded, at least  _ proving _ that he was there. He was honestly shocked that he was talking to nothing the whole time, especially when it all felt so real… Urgh. This either meant that something was going on here—probably due to Kokichi’s trickery—or because he didn’t get enough sleep. It could have easily been the latter, but part of him thought it was too perfect in timing to be anything less than alien trickery. Nonetheless, Hajime reached up to Akane, who then pulled him to his feet. The gymnast, herself, looked quite amused, crossing her arms with a smirk.

“Yeah, sure. Look, you can tell me all about your imaginary conversation with Nagito later. Right now, it’s seven in the morning, and we have to start gettin’ supplies to prank Fuyuhiko. Think you know enough pranks to catch him off guard?”

“Well, of course. We can go the cartoony route and just get rakes and stuff if we want to.” Hajime laughed. “Rakes and stuff, maybe a few buckets of water on top of doors… We can really go all out for this.”

“Damn right, we can!” Akane exclaimed.

The time was 7AM, and the Rocketpunch Market had officially opened. Opening the doors to the store, Hajime and Akane quickly got to buying supplies. Now, it would be far too boring to describe the lengthy process of checking how many Monocoins the duo had, as well as the even longer process of checking out each individual item and placing it into the shopping cart. Instead, it’s far more interesting to describe the exact items that they brought as they got them to the counter. Below is the list of items that they brought exactly:

  * Three large buckets (alongside a broom to help prop them up onto doors)
  * Two pepper shakers just to screw with Fuyuhiko and make him sneeze
  * Some rope just in case it’s needed 
  * Cling wrap (because, well, why not)
  * Lemon juice (a commodity thing that Akane bought for herself using Hajime’s money)
  * A bunch of red paper cups (commonly used for beer pong)
  * A ping-pong ball to match
  * And a little plastic gun that’s cheaply made to boot (probably to scare Fuyuhiko or something).

Thereon, things were easy enough to buy. Rocketpunch Market had a self-checkout system, and they both had enough accumulative money to buy all the things they needed. With a grand total of 60 Monocoins for the whole amount of things that they bought, they walked out of the store confidently, Hajime getting ready for the day. The entire thing took about an hour, and they had a lot of time left to set everything up!

The next stop was the hotel site itself. EVERYTHING was trapped to make sure that Fuyuhiko could get pranked somehow. In order to make sure everything proceeded smoothly, Hajime and Akane quickly got to setting everything up to see if Fuyuhiko would fall victim to classic blunders. A bunch of cling wrap wrapped around the poles in front of the door (two layers—one for each pair of poles)? Done. A pepper trap that’ll be prone to being dropped on top of the gangster if he tries to tear through the cling wrap? Check! A conspicuous banana peel placed in between the pathway to the pool from the hotel cabins themselves, making Fuyuhiko scoff and go to the side where Akane and Hajime hide with the intention of confronting him head-on because no one is THAT stupid? Man, just hand them the Nobel Prize for Ingenuity or whatever there is for the two, because they’ve earned it!

Everything had worked out perfectly. It was still 8:00AM, after all, and there was no denying that at any moment, Fuyuhiko would walk out of his cabin and fall through a series of far-too-coincidental blunders! There was no way that Fuyuhiko could walk out of there without being pranked! Thus began the waiting game—to see how long Hajime and Akane could wait before Kokichi showed up and told them that their friends would go back to normal. They hid right behind the corners leading up the pool and crouched down, leaning on their leg and began to get comfortable. With that in mind, they waited.

…

And waited.

…

And waited.

A simple perception of time goes like this: time flies when you’re having fun, and time drags on forever when you’re bored. As such, it stood to reason that Hajime and Akane would eventually voice their frustrations as they waited to hear Fuyuhiko shout in frustration, see him walk in front of them so they can confront him—literally ANYTHING that would alleviate them of their current boredom at this moment. Hajime grunted, snapping his fingers in an attempt to gain Akane’s attention.

“Hey… Hey! Akane!” Hajime continued snapping his fingers. “Wake up! Come on, look alive!”   


Akane stirred awake, having dozed off in the wait for Fuyuhiko. “Wh… What? Whaddya’ want, Hajime?”

“How long’s it been since we’ve been here? Do you know?”   
  
Huffing, Akane rubbed the side of her head with an annoyed tone of voice. “If you wanted to know the time so badly, why didn’t ya get a watch while we were at the market?”   
  
“Because you spent the rest of my money on a full gallon of lemon juice!” Hajime grunted, peering around the corner. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary—the banana peel was still in the same place as it was before, albeit ripened a little bit—but they didn’t hear Fuyuhiko leave his cabin at all. He couldn’t have gone far, especially when they should have at least heard him ranting and raving when the water bucket fell upon him. The poles were too far apart from the pathway for him to simply walk around it—any awkward maneuvers and he’d have fallen into the water. Where, then, could he be?   


“‘Cause you offered, obviously!” The gymnast yawned, eyes fluttering as she leaned against the fence. “Lemme sleep, at least. It’s not like he’s going to come by anytime soon, anyway, so we can afford to relax…”   
  
“Absolutely not!”   
  
Hajime barked, standing to his feet. Walking towards her, he pulled Akane up by her arm so she got up to her feet. She growled, slapping off his hand and baring her teeth at him. 

“What’s the big idea, Hajime? Huh? You do that to  _ every _ girl you meet?!”   
  
“We don’t have time to sit down and wait! If Fuyuhiko doesn’t get trapped at least once, there’s no chance our friends are ever going to go back to normal!” 

Hajime started to make his way past the traps he had set up, Akane towing behind reluctantly as she muttered about how much she wanted to yank Hajime’s ahoge at that moment. Indeed, the banana peel was virtually untouched; however, it was the moment that they looked towards Fuyuhiko’s cabin that things were looking to not be on their sides. You see, there’s a lot of things that can be explained simply with science and rational logical deductions, but one thing is for certain:

Peko’s katana is capable of slicing things clean off. Why is it that every trap they set up—the pepper trap and the cling wrap to the poles—weren’t sliced, but instead  **fully gone from where they had placed them?** Not only that, but the door was completely opened, with no sign of Fuyuhiko being within the cabin itself at all.

It couldn’t be the work of Peko that every trap that they had set up had vanished into thin air. And it sure couldn’t be easy for him to just barge through it, either, or else that means the win conditions for Kokichi’s challenge would be fulfilled. Blinking once, twice, Hajime walked backwards, bumping into Akane’s back and staying close to her as he whispered.   
  
“...Akane? I don’t mean to alarm you, but… Fuyuhiko didn’t get caught by his traps.”   
  
“Yeah. Yeah, I noticed.” Akane narrowed her eyes, looking around her immediate surroundings. “What do you think happened? He can’t go through the windows without gettin’ wet. All in all, it’s a lotta effort, and even then, that don’t explain how the traps are totally gone, you know?”

“No, it doesn’t… Wait, hold on!”   
  
In the corner of Hajime’s vision, he saw the back of Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the yakuza leaving the hotel space and going for a quick walk! It was brief, but he saw it nevertheless! Turning their way, he called out for him, hand outstretched as his name left his lips.

“FUYUHIKO—!”   
  
** _“YEEEEEEEEOOWWWWRRRRRRLLLLL!”_ **

A sharp cry, piercing through the air and being heralded with a sudden cloud of smoke as a mysterious figure was obscured by the special effects! They had slid in from the side, hair flowing in the air in a display of true dramatic flair! It was almost as if it was in slow motion—all that Hajime could make out was their silhouette barely being shown throughout the smoke. After it all began to clear away, Hajime could finally make out who it was. Their tongue stuck out, and the look in their eyes was frenzied beyond all reason. Oh, with that wild style of theirs, how could Hajime mistake who they were? 

“No… No way…!”   
  
“Gyahahahah! Betcha just got starstruck after seeing such an  _ incredible _ opening act by  _ the _ Ibuki Mioda!”

Yes, indeed! It was the Ultimate Musician, Ibuki Mioda, standing in front of him with her ever-iconic guitar being held by one of her hands! Of course, such an action might be seen as a bit odd given the fact that Ibuki is a prominent musician, but something told Hajime and Akane that this was most likely not going to be an actual performance. Ibuki straightened her back, an unhinged smile on her face as she took the center stage with her debut. Hajime couldn’t help himself from sputtering in surprise, splaying out his hand to the side.   
  
“I… Ibuki?! What are you doing here? We have somewhere we need to go, so—!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know you do. Sucks, too, ‘cause Ibuki wasn’t planning on hurting you, y’know. It’s just that where you’re goin’ is probably gonna mess up everything, so… no hard feelings, right?”   


Hajime began to sweat. “What… What are you talking about?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ibuki exclaimed with glee. “The way we’re living right now is seriously gonna be screwed if you get your hands on The Godfather! If I were to let you leave right now, then… welllll, that’s not exactly gonna look good on us, now, is it?”

Hajime’s breath hitched, eyes wider than anything else as he spoke. “You… You know what we’re doing? Then why are you—?”   


“‘Cause I just felt like doing it.” Ibuki sneered. “Does Ibuki need a reason to cause chaos? No? Didn’t think so.”   
  
“Alright, that’s enough!” Akane shouted, clenching her fists as she stepped forward. A thundery gaze was in her eyes as she jutted a finger in Ibuki’s direction. “Spill the friggin’ beans! You’re the reason why none of our traps worked, aren’t you?!”

The musician clicked her tongue, bringing her guitar forward as she spoke. “Nope! I’m the reason the traps aren’t here  _ anymore, _ but I’m not the reason they never worked in the first place.”

Akane’s fierce demeanor took a hit, the gymnast quirking an eyebrow. “Huh? Then… who was it?”   
  
** _“That would have been me, you pigheaded trash bin of a human being!”_ **

A high-pitched, girly voice shrieked through the air, breaking Akane’s concentration as she looked back. Indeed, it was easy to tell who the voice belonged to. With that detailed kimono and those twintails so large that they dwarfed her arms in comparison, who else could forget the frightfully bratty visage of the Ultimate Traditional Dancer, Hiyoko Saionji? Hajime would have laughed at seeing someone so small arrive at a time like this, but it’s a bit difficult to laugh when they both have the same look in their eyes as Peko did when she fought them.

“H… Hiyoko…” Hajime whispered in disbelief.  
  
“Yeah, it’s me. What, you think Ibuki could do this on her own? Pffft… Fuck off.” Hiyoko said, holding both of her folding fans in front of her. The pattern on them included a monochrome bear, split in half; the black side had a wicked grin, contrasting the white side’s reserved expression in comparison. “I cut the plastic wrap and got everything off before that one-eyed freak show left the room. These fans are _very_ useful.”

“But… But that doesn’t make sense!” Akane piped up. “How’d you do that and not leave any trace of the plastic wrap behind?! That’s impossible!”

“Well, actually, that’d be because of  _ my _ doing!” Ibuki chirped, strumming her guitar. Hajime could notice the air distorting as the strings were played—somewhat similar to the air on a hot paved road in the desert. It was a trippy experience, and one he had the feeling he wouldn’t exactly enjoy in the upcoming moments. “By strumming the strings of this guitar, I can manipulate the airwaves and carry the plastic wrap far elsewhere! I mean, I mighta disobeyed one of the island rules and littered, but…” Ibuki giggles. “It’s not like it matters where the plastic wrap is. Someone’s bound to pick it up, right?”

“But that’s impossible!” The gymnast clenched her fist, staring with an electric gaze. “That’s… That’s not how sound works! That’s not how  _ any _ of this works! How is that even—”   
  
Hiyoko rolled her eyes, hiding her mouth behind one of her fans. “Does it really matter? You’re willing to believe we have a rabbit for a teacher, but sound waves carrying away plastic is just  _ too much _ for you?” The dancer giggled sardonically, moving forward and letting her kimono swish in the wind. “You should be more focused on the important things. Like… if we’re letting you worthless slugs go to slither off elsewhere.”   


“Mhm, mhm!” Ibuki concurred, strumming her guitar and eyeing Hajime like he was fresh meat. “We’ve got a job to do, you know. We’ve gotta stop you guys from ruining everything. We were given orders by Fuyuhiko to stop you, and that’s just what we’re going to do!”   
  
“Oh, please.” Hiyoko, again, rolled her eyes, the thought of working with this  _ idiot _ honestly making her want to hurl.  _ “You _ were given orders. I just tagged along since you were going to get cleaned up by these two bozos.”

“Doesn’t matter if we’re going to both get rid of them, right?”

“Pssh,  _ yeah. _ We’re gonna make sure they  _ never _ get Fuyuhiko again!”   
  
Slowly, but surely, they closed in on the two of them, Akane and Hajime back-to-back as they stared down their opponents. Akane stared down against Ibuki, whose guitar strumming became more frantic and dissonant the closer she came. Hajime, on the other hand, was looking down at Hiyoko with fright in his eyes, not exactly sure on how he was going to fare against her—after all, those fans were looking a lot sharper than he remembers them to be. His analysation of the situation was brought to a standstill when Akane whistled.  
  
“Hey… Hajime.”

“Yeah? What is it?” Hajime looked back in surprise.   
  
“...I dunno what’s going on, but as long as we stay alert, these guys are gonna be easy pickings.” Akane smirked, getting in a fighting stance and being ready to throw down. “They don’t have half the guts that Peko had.”

Hajime blinked, before looking back at Hiyoko. Yeah… Yeah, Akane was right! He was fighting what was basically a  _ child _ that had extra-sharp fans! This was bound to be easy with a Stand!   
  
“Akane… You don’t need to look out for me, you know.” Hajime smiled, back against Akane’s as he stared down an increasingly-frustrated Hiyoko. “We took down Peko together, and we’ll take down these guys, too!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, you chickenshit asshat!” Hiyoko cursed, pointing a fan Hajime’s way and screeching. “I’ll slice your tendons and leave you a cripple! I wouldn’t give either of you pathetic losers even five seconds before we make examples out of you!”

“Heheheh… Ease up a lil’, Hiyoko.” Ibuki said, licking her lips as she eyed Akane. “We’ve got one job. If we can take out at least one of ‘em, we win.”   
  
Akane and Hajime, again, found themselves in a particular predicament. Much like the fight with Peko, they were faced off against non-Stand Users, supposedly sent by Fuyuhiko. Did they know if they had Stands? Either way, this was sure to be a particularly explosive fight, and especially so given Ibuki and Hiyoko managed to thwart their plans to ensnare Fuyuhiko in their trap.

One thing was for certain, however:

Kokichi was looking down upon all of them from a distance, watching them with eager eyes…

**ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to you by me listening to Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre 24/7 whilst strongly daydreaming about an ending sequence for this fanfiction.
> 
> As you can see, I have a strong affinity for non-Stand User vs. Stand User battles. This is strong bias on my part, but maybe sometime in the future we'll have a Stand fight between Fuyuhiko and Akane/Hajime...
> 
> ...I need to think of a good name for Akane and Hajime as a duo. Either that, or distinct poses...


	9. Hiyoko Saionji & Ibuki Mioda: Licensed to Kill ① / Blood on the Dance Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So a guitarist, a talentless boy, a dancer, and a gymnast all get into a fight in some hotel grounds...  
...the punchline to such a joke would be hilarious if it had not been for the fact that the gymnast is suffering heavy losses.

Unlike the fight with Peko, this confrontation started with a bang—or, more accurately, a roar of guitar strings strumming.

Hajime and Akane were lucky when it came to fighting against Peko. It was two of them against a woman with a sword—it’s really thanks to Hajime’s quick thinking skills and due to Peko letting down her guard that they managed to get the jump on him. An experienced swordswoman, of course, would obviously prove to be a difficult obstacle against two Stand users that knew nothing about the extent of their powers. Now, however, the tables had turned—it was the two of them against two other non-Stand users; one of which had a guitar that reportedly did _ something _ to the air around them, and the other one having razor-sharp fans that could cut plastic in an instant.

...Which in hindsight wasn’t exactly threatening, but what _ was _ threatening was hearing that the two of them were working for Fuyuhiko.

Ibuki’s strumming of the guitar picked up into a maddening pace, the duo of both herself and Hiyoko circling the two of them. Hajime’s eyes did not leave off Hiyoko for a second, as did Akane as she gritted her teeth. The melody that Ibuki was playing elicited a feeling of desperation, of a showdown that was going to happen quite soon. Hajime’s senses were heightened, waiting for any sort of movement.

Hajime was face-to-face with Ibuki when she began to speak. “You know… we could leave you be if you promised never to chase after Fuyuhiko ever again.”  
  
“That’s an offer I’m going to have to refuse.” Hajime said, shaking his head. “There’s something we need to talk to him about.”

“Besides,” Akane piped up, eyes narrowed as she stared at the ever-smug Hiyoko Saionji’s face, “you guys aren’t nearly strong enough to stop us in our tracks.”

Hiyoko giggled maliciously. “Are you saying that because you believe it, or because you’re covering up the fact that you’re scared?”  
  
“SHUT IT, PIPSQUEAK!” Akane roared, her gaze becoming electric once more; yellow lightning sparked out from her eyes in a manner similar to Nekomaru as she got pumped up and ready to fight. “I’ve got nothing to be afraid of! _ You _ should be the one afraid of _ me, _ because by the time I’m done whooping your ass, you’re gonna regret ever taking the two of us on!”

Ibuki smiled, stopping in her place after Akane finished her tirade. Hiyoko, too, stopped in front of Akane, the dancer fluttering her fans with flicks of her wrist as she sized up the gymnast. Hajime locked eyes with Ibuki, not letting down his guard as Ibuki began to speak.

“Ibuki’s got to give you credit, Hajime. You’ve got a lotta guts for going through with this stuff even though you know that we’re gonna get rid of you.”  
  


“You won’t get the chance.”  
  
Ibuki had a glint in her eye.   
  
“Oh? Is that _ so?” _

Ibuki’s fingers strummed the guitar quicker now, her pink eyes turning red and swirling with despair for just a brief moment.  
  
** _“THEN LET’S SEE HOW YOU DANCE!”_ ** ** _  
  
_ **

The fight quickly commenced, with Ibuki rushing forward with her guitar playing as she swung it Hajime’s way. Of course, Hajime was more than prepared for it… 

...or, well, he would have been if he wasn’t suddenly carried away far up into the air above the cabins. The sudden change was enough to make him cry out in surprise, but it was thanks to some help by an unknown force that he remained in the air. He looked around, seeing nothing but the gorgeous scenery of Jabberwock Island and Akane and Hiyoko trading blows whilst on the ground, but then a figure appeared in his vision. 

It was Ibuki herself, floating whilst strumming on her guitar with her tongue hanging freely out of her mouth. She looked deranged, psychotic, a thrill-seeker—all the things that showed she was fighting with adrenaline being her only desire at the moment.

“So, whaddya think?” Ibuki snickered, standing perfectly midair and only gently bobbing up and down thanks to the air. “This guitar of mine… It’s pretty cool, don’t you think?”  
  
After a bit of struggling, 「Lean on Me」 was finally able to support Hajime enough that he was able to stand up and look at Ibuki in full. Her windswept hair and overall frightfully despair-struck appearance was making him the slightest bit unnerved. “What… is this, Ibuki?”   
  
“Can’t you see? It’s got to do with this awesome guitar!” Ibuki strummed it still, now shredding guitar solos and causing the air around them both to flare up momentarily before she returned to slapping her guitar. “To put it simply, when I strum this, I can move the sound waves to do whatever I want. What you’re **‘standing’** on right now… is air, moved by the sound waves made by my guitar.” 

It was far from Hajime to question the science behind certain events, but it was obvious enough to him that falling down from this height would be enough to kill him thanks to the fall. Clenching his fists, Hajime nodded, before 「Lean on Me」 began to push him her way.   
  
“Well… I hope you’re ready, Ibuki, because I’ll still have what it takes to beat you! Guitar or no guitar, my Stand will be enough to win against you…!”

Ibuki scoffed, moving forward in tandem. “Yeah, right. Stands aren’t worth anything as soon as Ibuki Mioda takes the stage.”  
  
With little warning, Ibuki swung her guitar and nearly hit Hajime in the face, but it was thanks to the air surrounding them both that he could fall backwards limbo-style and miss it completely. His legs flew upward and kicked Ibuki back, sending her tumbling backwards before the both of them got upright once more. 「Lean on Me」 pushed Hajime forward, making him fly towards Ibuki at fast speeds. With a fist outstretched, Hajime was ready to land a blow onto Ibuki, but was sent careening up further into the sky in a curved arc! 

Yes, Ibuki sent him further up in the air, following right next to him before hitting the back of his head with the bottom of his guitar. The pain was enough to make him yelp, but nonetheless, he got back to his feet, slightly disoriented and confused at how high he had been thrown to.

Ibuki continued wailing away at him, striking with the guitar when he could not defend himself. It was less of a fight and more of a massacre on Hajime’s part—he could barely find his surroundings when he was floating in the air. Each heavy swing came close to outright knocking him out, but 「Lean on Me」 was able to absorb a little bit of the impact. Of course, as soon as Ibuki swung particularly hard and left herself wide open, Hajime dug his heel into her stomach and sent her flying a few yards away from him. Again, 「Lean on Me」 pushed him forward, allowing him to deal a few more strikes to Ibuki whilst in midair. 

Ibuki’s fingers remained quick on the draw, though. Hajime was instantly flung downwards in an arc motion, revolving around Ibuki until he appeared under her. To that end, she attempted to strike him overhead, her guitar coming close to hitting him…

...but Hajime used the air continuously coming from beneath him to perform a reversal on the current situation! Sliding right behind Ibuki allowed Hajime to strike her in the back and send her flying across the sky and towards the ground in front of the entrance.  
  
It was a truly incredible fight to witness, that much was certain—but the further that Ibuki was sent, the less that Hajime could feel the air supporting him… and he soon fell to the ground, landing on his feet as he looked at the scene ahead of him. There was no way that Ibuki could continue to stand after getting beaten so thoroughly… was there?

...No.   
  
There wasn’t.

Because while Ibuki was flying towards the ground, Hiyoko had thrown Akane into the air, the two girls colliding and sending the two of them towards the entrance gate.

** _“AKANE!”_ **

* * *

Before that, however, was the fight between Akane and Hiyoko, having engaged in close-quarter combat and fighting with incredible elegance.

Unlike most fights that Akane had, this was one where she could use her talent as a gymnast to barely evade Hiyoko’s quick slashes. It was less of a fight but more so choreography that just so happened to lead to Akane getting slashed to pieces or Hiyoko getting pulverised before she could react. 

With grace comparable to that of a swan, Akane would effortlessly pivot on her heels and dodge a razor-sharp fan thanks to Hiyoko; with the fury of a fighter plane, Hiyoko would turn and act like a living sawblade, cutting anything indiscriminately. It went without saying that Hiyoko was a fierce opponent; even without having to move her blades up and down, the ferocity in Hiyoko’s movements were enough to keep Akane on her toes—both figuratively and literally. 

Akane’s cartwheeling could only keep her safe for so long, however. The more that Hiyoko kept wailing away at her, the more likely it was going to be that Akane gets hit. The force behind the attacks would be more than enough to incapacitate Akane if she didn’t brace herself for the hits. There was no denying that Hiyoko was a fierce fighter, differing from Ibuki from how quicker her attacks were. Where Ibuki would strike with the impact of an oncoming freight train, Hiyoko’s method of fighting was more or less striking with millions of paper cuts and waiting for Akane to bleed out completely.  
  


Now, Akane wasn’t necessarily smart. She solved _ practical _ problems, mind you; it didn’t take a genius to see the math behind how Akane had to beat her. 

  
If it was going to take one strong hit to get Hiyoko down for the count, Akane was going to have to hit her where it counts.   
  
“Rfff…. Ahhh… RaaaAAAGGGHHHH!” Hiyoko cried out in rage, a whirlwind with how quickly she was spinning and how her movements were as fluid as a river. “Why won’t… Why won’t you just die already?! Stop dodging all my attacks, idiot! You absolute piece of human trash!” Her fury was compounded by Akane’s insistence on continuously avoiding her attacks, causing her to try even harder to at least land SOMETHING upon her! “STOP DODGING, GODDAMNIT! I’LL KILL YOU!”   
  
“I mean—” Akane went to speak, narrowly avoiding a fan to the face by dropping back on her knees and similarly jumping over another fan going towards her shins, “—you can try, but you’re not really succeeding, you know?” 

“Probably because you KEEP DODGING!” Hiyoko roared, her cuts growing more frantic and less choreographed. Her fans, though razor sharp and being deadly in close-quarters combat, were more or less that fly-swatters as far as Akane was concerned. She kept laughing all the while, visibly irritating Hiyoko who swiped from above, Akane rolling forward in response to stay safe. “I SAID STOP IT! _ STOP IT, YOU MORON!” _

A final swing was brought towards Akane’s ribs before the gymnast effortlessly caught her wrist and made her drop her fan in her right hand. Hiyoko stiffened, looking up to her with a wild, crazed gaze... before using her other hand to attempt to slice Akane’s ribs clean open. That, too, was foiled as soon as Akane shot her hand towards her other wrists. The fans fell down immediately, and Akane simply pushed them with her feet a few inches away from the two of them.

Admittedly, putting a dancer up against a gymnast was a sure curbstomp battle.

Now that she was here, though, she could get a far better look at who she was looking at—or, rather, just what part of Hiyoko she was looking at. Her eyes, much like Peko’s and Ibuki’s, were a frightful, infinite spiral of despair, red sclera being the backdrop of white irises. It was mesmerising... though not in the “watching stars twinkle in the sky” sense. No, it was more or less the type of mesmerising you’d find watching fire take to your local neighbourhood and causing millions of dollars in property damage.

“...Look at you.” Akane said, staring into Hiyoko’s eyes. “You’ve gone off the deep end, and that’s putting it lightly.”

Hiyoko grunted. “Oh, and shut _ up. _ As soon as we get rid of you two, we won’t have to do any of this ever again.”

Her grip on her wrists tightened. “You’re not gonna tell us why you’re after us, are you?”  
  
“Use your brain. I’m not spoon feeding you.”

Again, her grip tightened further. “Tell us, Hiyoko! Why the hell are you helping Fuyuhiko?! Do you even know what the hell we’re after him for?!”

“Yeah, I do, actually.” 

A dark expression crossed Hiyoko’s face, peering up to Akane. For the briefest moment, her grip loosened, though Hiyoko made no attempt to get away, instead staying behind so she could regale her with the reason why she and Ibuki were after her. Akane felt a chill run up her spine when Hiyoko’s saccharine tone graced her ears, the dancer peeling away the layers of invulnerability she thought she had.

“You think we’re stupid? That we’re just following Fuyuhiko’s orders just because we want to? For shits and giggles?” Hiyoko cackled. “I don’t give a damn what that two-bit gangster and his flunkey floozy is up to. The two can go rot, for all I care.”  
  
“Then why...?”   
  
Hiyoko shot her a glare, shutting her up. **“I’m doing it because the shit you two are pulling is going to kill us all.”**

And, just like that, Akane was sufficiently caught off guard, fully letting go as she foolishly stood back. Oh, how she shouldn’t listen to the girl that was attempting to kill her just seconds ago! Oh, how Nekomaru taught her that granting any opponent the opportunity to get the drop on her was a beginner’s mistake! However, the die had been cast, and as soon as Hiyoko spoke, she had been hooked. 

The dancer continued to speak. “Think about it. You’re listening to an alien... from outer space... that wants to pull some sort of weird prank on the Ultimate Yakuza. You’re going to kill us all if you actually go through with what he’s asking.”

“But... But Kokichi told us you people are crazy! We can tell you’re acting differently!” Akane clenched her fist. “We’re doing this to get you guys back! How do you even know who he is?!”

Hiyoko put a single finger to her lips. “Shhhh... Even when you think you’re alone, you’re never truly by yourself.”  
  


And, like that, Akane was frozen in place, suddenly feeling as if the sky was on the verge of falling. Her eyes were wide, sweat was running down her forehead, and she couldn’t even stop herself from stopping Hiyoko when she went to retrieve her blade-fans from the ground. She took one step back, two steps back...  
  
“Just so you know... Peko gave us the tip. I don’t know how she knows, but I’m guessing she knew as soon as you rocked up to go after Fuyuhiko...”   
  
Hiyoko then had a gleam in her eye, rushing forward when Akane least expected it to grab her by the torso with her arm and cackling. This sort of strength was inhuman—the type that you would only gain if you fully committed yourself to the task you were given. Hiyoko spun around in place, seeing Ibuki struck in the sky before she threw Akane up in tandem, saying one last thing as a sendoff.

_ “...so do us a favour and just die already, trash!” _

Akane was flying in the air, tumbling forwards and backwards like she would in her gymnastics routines. The wind blew through her hair. The air made her feel weightless. She almost felt like a falling bird in that moment, untethered by gravity as she continued to fly. A human-sized object came her way and struck her in the stomach, and sent her flying to the ground...

...and just like that, her world went dark.

All that she could think about in her unconscious haze was what Hiyoko meant by that phrase... about what she meant by her and Hajime’s actions leading to the death of all of her friends here.

**ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has taken me two months to release this chapter. I apologise, but external factors have made it difficult for me to release things as quickly as I would like.
> 
> I hope that you do enjoy the new chapter, however. I promise you, I'm doing my best to make things coherent, if not at least fun to read.


End file.
